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Sixers Playoff Bell Ringer: Same ol’ spineless Sixers

I guess the writer’s strike means they’re just recycling old endings.

Philadelphia 76ers v Boston Celtics - Game Seven Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images

Sixers Playoff Bell Ringer standings
James Harden - 3
Joel Embiid - 3
Tyrese Maxey - 3
Tobias Harris - 1

We were told this year would be different. It wasn’t. The team was built to be tougher and show up in the playoffs. They didn’t. In Sunday’s Game 7, the Sixers trailed by three points at halftime, before completely falling apart in the third quarter, a frame where Boston would outscore them, 33-10. At one point, Philadelphia went over six minutes without scoring. What had once been a 55-55 tie eventually became an 83-58 Celtics advantage. Things did not get better from there, as Boston would expand the lead to 30 before the 112-88 final.

It would be one thing to lose to Jayson Tatum on a day he was unconscious and scored 51 points, a Celtics franchise record for a Game 7. He is (humbly) one of the best players in the world after all. You could see catching him on the wrong day, fight hard and lose, certainly understandable. But for the Sixers’ two stars, Joel Embiid and James Harden, to treat a must-win game with a level of apathy usually reserved for high school seniors paying attention in class during the last week of school is completely inexcusable. Now for our last Bell Ringer of the season.

Philadelphia 76ers v Boston Celtics - Game Seven Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images

P.J. Tucker: 11 points, 1 rebound, 1 block, 0 turnovers

Playoff P.J. showed up, at least. Back in the good times, when the Sixers were building a nine-point lead in the first half, Tucker was leading the charge. He scored all 11 of his points in the first quarter, nailing a trio of threes to make the Celtics pay for leaving him alone, and even scoring on a drive to the basket, an occasion as rare as Halley’s Comet. Tucker was running around with a huge rip in his jersey, adding to his rugged, dawg mystique. In all sincerity, well done, P.J.

2023 NBA Playoffs - Philadelphia 76ers v Boston Celtics Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images

Doc Rivers’s Real Estate Agent: 5 straight Game 7 losses, 10 Game 7 losses total (most in NBA history

Whoever handles Doc Rivers’ real estate arrangements had him or herself a heck of a day Sunday. I’m not even saying this particular Game 7 was on Doc. I don’t know what a coach can do about his two stars playing with the aggression of an elderly basset hound. But after years of these second-round flame-outs, and two quarters this week (the fourth quarter of Game 6 and the third quarter of Game 7) where the offense dissolved into vapor, it’s pretty clear a new voice is needed. There has to be a change, right? Please tell me there will be a change. Congrats on your forthcoming commissions, Doc Rivers’ real estate agent.

2023 NBA Playoffs - Philadelphia 76ers v Boston Celtics Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images

Houston-area strip clubs: James Harden 3-of-11 from the field, 5 turnovers, countless vacant stares

Houston-area strip clubs might have a lot more in-season revenue coming their way. With a player option this season presumably leading to an opt-out and free agent decision for Harden, the Houston Rockets have reportedly been all-in on reuniting with their former star. Yes, Harden was responsible for two wins in this series against the Celtics. But after James went out with a whimper for the second straight postseason, is Philly really going to be on board with sliding a long-term max contract across the table to sign up for more of the same? The Houston party scene can feel much better about their estimated income for fiscal year 2024 and beyond.

Philadelphia 76ers v Boston Celtics - Game Seven Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images

Content aggregators who can thrive off the traffic from Embiid Trade hot takes in the coming months: Joel Embiid 5-of-18 from the field, 4 turnovers, getting sonned by Al Horford

I love Joel, so I’m going to reserve judgment knowing he was playing through an injury and not knowing the severity of it. But the Embiid Trade takes are going to be coming in two forms:

  • His asking out because the franchise is such a dumpster of dysfunction that hasn’t reached the Conference Finals in over 20 years.
  • The team trading Embiid because they haven’t been able to get over the hump with him yet, and you might want to make the change at his peak value before something more serious happens with the Jenga tower that is his body.

I got nothing else. Sad day. Go hug your mom and the moms in your life.


Who is the Bell Ringer from the Sixers’ Game 7 loss in Boston?

This poll is closed

  • 37%
    P.J. Tucker (the serious answer)
    (355 votes)
  • 25%
    Doc Rivers’ real estate agent
    (248 votes)
  • 22%
    Houston-area strip clubs
    (218 votes)
  • 14%
    Embiid Trade content aggregators
    (137 votes)
958 votes total Vote Now

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