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Sexers Power Ranking Week 12

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Winning is fun!

Still not convinced that the city of Toronto or the Scotia Bank Arena are real places. I’ve been ~near~ Toronto once in my life, and I’m pretty sure I saw the projection of the city flicker while I was at Niagara Falls watching conspiracy theorists topple over the fall sans wooden barrels.

The Sixers “lost” the “game” that they “played” in “Toronto” for the quadrillionth time in a row.

Other than that, the Sexers won their other four games since we last checked in!

Still without Joel Embiid, they eked their way by the Bulls at home behind an atomic performance from Furkan Korkmaz.

They took to the Garden and played poorly, but pulled together a team win with some stellar defense late and a big shot from Tobias Harris.

The weekend in New York continued when Ben Simmons went god mode against the Nets and posted an absurd 34/12/12/5/2 line.

Then “Toronto” “happened” and Josh Richardson strained his hamstring in the effort and now joins Joel Embiid on the bench for a few weeks.

The week wrapped up back in South Philadelphia as the Shake Milton Sixers took down LeBron James and Anthony Davis in convincing fashion in prime time. Big performances from Ben, Tobias Harris, Matisse Thybulle, and Al Horford filled the Embiid-and-Richardson-filled gap in the Sixers lineup to fend off the NBA’s best road team. With lots to break down, lets dive into this week’s Top Sexers…


Sexer #1: Furkan Korkmaz

Furkan’s journey to become a Sexer is a rather bizarre one. He requested a trade in the 2018-19 season, then watched as a roster overhaul occurred while he remained in Philadelphia. He finished out the season, was rumored to sign with a Turkish team, then somehow found himself back on the Sixers’ roster and has had a blossoming season off the Sixers bench.

Just 0.8 ticks away from reaching the societally declared elite 40 percent 3-point shooting mark, Furk miiiiight be powerful enough for the national media to shut up about Marco Belinelli and Ersan Ilyasova.

Since Joel Embiid went down, he’s seen an obvious minutes spike. With about four more minutes to operate with per game, Furk has done his work to improve every necessary part of his game.

Through his first 39 games, Furk was posting 8.1 ppg on 37 percent 3-point shooting on 4.2 attempts.

In his last seven games, he has upped it to 13.6 ppg on 44.2 percent 3-point shooting on 7.4 attempts.

The Bulls game marked a career-high for the young man, as he reached 24 points on 6/9 (nice) shooting from deep, 8-of-11 overall.

Furkan is now on a six-game streak of making three or more 3s.

Because we probably live in a simulation, our programmers decided to take some of Belinelli and some of Ersan to create… Furkan. While Kork got the shooting from Marco, he seems to be getting eager to take charges. He has five on the season, but being able to learn how to grift offensive fouls going up against the likes of Lebron James is certainly one way to not get totally roasted on switches :)

This sequence is pure Beli/Ersan merger

His post-game interactions have also been incredible, as his spot in the team’s culture has become the “funny cute friend who you love to joke at”


Sexer #2: Ben Simmons

He’s dunking on people! And he refuses to stop!!!

In his last six games, Ben has led the Embiid-less Sixers to a 5-1 record while posting 23/9/9 along with 2.5 steals. He’s shooting a hilarious 70 percent from the field (59.1 percent from the line).

The other hilarious thing about Ben Simmons is that his minutes have somehow been bumped up too, averaging 40 minutes a night.

10 times this season, Ben has cracked 40-plus minutes in a game. Three of those times have come in the last six games.

The ironman also got to the line a season-high 14 times against the Nets (making 10).

His defense has also been phenomenal, proving that he can essentially guard all positions if he’s asked to in small-ball lineups. He still holds the league lead for total steals (99) and steals per game (2.2). Simmons also sits at the league lead in loose balls recovered, and ranks second in total deflections behind just Kris Dunn.


Sexer #3: Matisse Thybulle

Been pinching myself since June 20, 2019, but I seem to not be dreaming and Matisse Thybulle really is on the 76ers.

The best defensive rookie since Joel Hans Embiid:

He makes so many highlight plays on defense that it was actually hard to choose which ones to pick for the article. He’s a special talent with a special heart and understanding of how to be a human.

There’s no real way to explain the absurdity of getting a steal in the post against LeBron James on your first-ever possession against him in your career. That doesn’t just happen.


The Sixers look to continue their winning ways as they take on the Warriors, Hawks, and Celtics in this week’s slate of games.