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Sexers Week 2 Power Rankings

Going through a 1-3 week... were there ANY Sexers? (Of course)

This 2019-20 Sixers team is the Sexiest Team in NBA History, and we’re here to give a Power Ranking of the most “Sexers” players week by week.

Determining the Sexers Rankings: on-court play matters a little, but not too much. We take more consideration into who’s cool, who’s cooler, who’s coolest. Tweets, Instagram posts/comments, post-game soundbites, and other content of this nature all contribute to the Sexers ranking. The list will showcase the Top 7 Sexers per week.

*Disclaimer* Do not read if you are one of the brave souls participating in No Nut November, as the videos, pictures, writing, and overall subject of content in this piece will likely cause you to fail your month-long task.

Well, losing certainly isn’t very sexy. But nonetheless, the rankings must go on!

Furkan Korkmaz?

Yeah, somehow we found ourselves here. Following his game-winner in Portland, Furkan has followed up with a few more big games. Shooting 45.2 percent from 3 (19-of-42 total), Furkan has even gotten his DefRtg down to 103.8! Furkan’s quiet persona and loud success so far this season is very cute and wholesome, as his teammates seem to have his back at all times and want him to shoot and succeed.

His love for the color yellow is also palpable, as not only has he been rocking the mustard shoes all season, but his post-game featured the same color sweatshirt. Furkan’s Fashion Watch is officially ON.

We will look to see if Furkan continues to blossom into the “Bomber” that Brett Brown so graciously labeled him.

Josh Richardson

The JJ Redick-Jimmy Butler love child is starting to come around. He’s creating more off the dribble, shooting better from 3-point land, and smiling, like all the time. As Matisse Thybulle’s minutes have vanished, look to Josh RIchardson to keep the smiles on the court and those #PositiveVibes going at ALL TIMES.

Richardson played his best game as a Sexer in Utah, registering 24 points and racking up three steals. His defensive intensity continued in Denver as he got UP to reject a Jamal Murray dunk, and picked Murray’s pocket late in the game to get the Sixers an easy bucket. With a much easier stretch of games on tap for the Sexers through November, look for JRich to keep finding his fit in this offense.

Jason Segel

Freaks and Geeks Hive stand UP. Jason Segel rang the bell prior to the Sixers game Sunday night against the Hornets, and gave one of the better rings as he passionately two-handed it. I’ve gone to many, many games over the bell-ringing era and it’s amazing to me how many celebrities can’t get the timing down or just seem overall uninterested. Segel may not have timed it right, but I don’t care one bit because he actually looked like he was having a great time ringing a prop Liberty Bell with an underwhelmingly small hammer. Thank you, Jason Segel, the love of everyone’s life. Segel and Andre 3000 have been spotted around Philadelphia all summer, as they are filming Segel’s new show Dispatches From Elsewhere, which will premiere on AMC in 2020.

Raul Neto

As Ben Simmons went down with a shoulder sprain, Raul stepped up into the starting lineup and has delivered so far. His impossibly perfect jaw line paired with his savvy play at point guard lands him on the Sexers Power Rankings for the first time. Neto has made five of his eight 3-pointers attempted. Part of the reason he’s having success from the outside might be because defenders are too afraid to close out on him. If they do, what happens if he blows by?

They had Neto in their sights, his eyes glistening from the light of the Wells Fargo Center’s new enormous jumbotron. Then, a blur and the scent of moqueca wizzes by, and defenders are left standing there, thinking of what could’ve been.

Trey Burke

Allen Iverson Lite got his debut in a Sexers uniform on. So far, so good for both back-up point guards. Burke is a rare sight for Sexers fans as he appears to be able to 1) Dribble, 2) Shoot, and 3) Shoot off the dribble?? A foreign sight for Philadelphia faithful, but a pleasant one nonetheless. With Simmons likely out a few more games this week, Burke and Neto should get many more opportunities to shine as the Sexers they signed up to be.

And ya know what? That’s it. Last week’s slate of four games were a fairly unsexy showing from the Sexers. Joel had a few double-doubles, but for his standards, not great games. Tobias Harris needs to get a quicker trigger and remember to shoot a 3-pointer when he’s open. The Sexers’ next six games are very winnable and should help get the team back on track for good. Til’ next time, go Sexers :)

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