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Sixers: Infinity War

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The Philadelphia 76ers, but as The Avengers...

The Sixvengers...! No wait... The Avengixers...! No no no, neither of those work, but with the quickly approaching release of Avengers: Infinity War, let’s take a look at each Sixer equivalent in the Marvel Universe...

Richaun Holmes: The Incredible Hulk

Similarities include the ability to crush literally anything in front of them with their bare hands, and the ability to jump incredibly high in the air. When Richaun gets angry, he tends to dunk on anyone/anything that stands in his way. Only difference is that Richaun is seemingly stuck in Hulk mode forever, but maybe one game his heart rate will drop back to normal as he will transform in to a little nuclear physicist. (I know Joel could fit this role too, but we’ll get to him later).

JJ Redick: Hawkeye

This was probably the easiest decision to make as both JJ and Clinton Barton (Hawkeye) are sharpshooters from distance. The similarities extend further than that, as JJ is a well known family man who commutes to the Sixers practice facilities and arena from Brooklyn and if you’ve seen Avengers: Age of Ultron (SPOILERS), then you know Hawkeye also has a wife and kids who he leaves to fight evil from time to time. Finally, a quick google search can show you that the stand similar in stature as Redick (6’4) stands just one inch taller than Hawkeye. (Even got JJ’s left arm tattoo fitted to Hawkeye)

Ben Simmons: Thor

The God of Thunder From Down Under. Ben seemed like the best fit for Thor since he throws down f*****g hammers as often as he can. Much like Thor, Simmons joined the Sixers (the Avengers) from the foreign land of Australia (Asgard). Also, Ben is Australian, and so is actor Chris Hemsworth, so there’s that and you also can’t convince me Ben isn’t part god.

Dario Saric: Captain Croatia

Since no American on the team fit the Captain America role as much as Dario (maybe TJ, but again, we’ll get to him later), Dario had to take the role as Captain Croatia, as he is always willing to do what is best for the team; whether that be diving on the floor for loose balls, scrapping for rebounds, or throwing a vibranium shield at bad guys! Dario’s selflessness and determination day in and day out compare nicely to Steve Rogers’ willingness and self sacrifice for the greater good.

Ersan Ilyasova: Bucky Barnes

I’d like to think Dario and Ersan have a Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes friendship but ya know, before all the evil plots and brainwashing. Ersan Ilyasova literally IS a Winter Soldier. Lost in his way the NBA journeyman finds his way back home, to the Philadelphia 76ers and reunites with hypothetical best friend, Dario “Captain Croatia” Saric.

Markelle Fultz: Spider-Man

The youngest Avenger had to correspond with the youngest Sixer. Just imagine Markelle swinging from webs with his super dangly arms and herky jerky movements. Whenever Mareklle posts “NO ONE TEXT ME OR CALL ME” on his Instagram/Snapchat stories, it’s actually because he has thrown on the mask and jumped in to action to fight crime in the streets of Philadelphia. Markelle being Spider-Man is also connected to who is the Sixers’ Iron Man...

Joel Embiid: Iron Man

Another playoff mask option for Joel- Iron Man Mask. But Joel and Iron Man emerge as the “leaders” of their respected teams, and Joel would benefit from wearing a suit of iron that shoots lasers. Another neat comparison to be made has to do with Markelle “Spider-Man” Fultz... if you saw Spider-Man Homecoming (MINOR SPOILERS), then you know Iron Man becomes the mentor of a young Spider-Man. In a way, Joel has become to mentor of a young Fultz, teching him how to deal with the adversity of injury, and preparing Markelle for the NBA.

Robert Covington: Black Panther

Biggest similarity- THOSE QUICK HANDS. Both Rock and T’Challa are from distance and mystical lands... Wakanada, and Illinois. If there’s one thing King T’Challa is good at, it was defending his home and WE ALL KNOW that Cov locks all windows and doors.

TJ McConnell: Ant Man

Yeah it’s cause he’s short. But, much like Ant Man, TJ is a scrappy guy who worked hard for everything he gets. Ant Man works relentlessly to get to make sure his daughter is always safe, and TJ mostly just dives all over the place to make sure the Sixers are winning games. TJ plays a smaller role than most players on the team, but when he is needed he shows up in a big way. Ant Man is runored to play a decent role in Avengers: Infinty War. However you cut it, TJ is the Ant Man on the Sixers.

Brett Brown: Nick Fury

The leader of the group. Brett has been through hell and back and made it out alive. Much like (SPOILERS) Nick Fury literally taking a bullet and faking his own death for the Avengers, Brett made the great sacrifice of coaching a losing team for years, all while he kept faith that it would one day eventually pay off. Just read this Nick Fury quote about the assembling of the Avengers, BUT, do it in a Brett Brown accent- “The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more.” It fits? Doesn’t it?

Sam Hinkie: Vision

YEAH this one was pretty cool. Vision absolutely has the longest view in any room. The hero with superhuman intellect should absolutely link of up Sam Hinkie. He is above us all. No further explanation needed.

BONUS

Nerlens Noel: Groot

Besides the fact that Nerlens stature is eerily similar to Groot’s (Nerlens is built like a tree), Nerlens is probably the most emotional Process casualty and in Guardians of the Galaxy, Groot is (SPOILERS) definitely the most emotional death in the movie as he sacrifices himself to save the Guardians. While it wasn’t necessarily Nerlens’ choice to get sacrificed, he was still the one to cure the big man log jam, and we will always love you, Nerlens.

Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot: Baby Groot

This one is just cause TLC’s head looks funny on Baby Groot, and because TLC has tree branches for arms. Isn’t he adorable?

So what about Justin Anderson, Marco, Jerryd, Amir, and Furkan? Let me know if you guys think they match up with anyone in the Marvel Universe OR any Process guys who have Avengers similarities.

(Special thanks to my friends Pierce Budson, Marcos Pascual, and Matt Abbonizio for helping me curate these connections)