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Process Pilots: the Sixers pitches that weren’t picked up

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As some of you probably already know, former Liberty Ballers writer and current Rights to Ricky Sanchez co-host Mike Levin is developing a show for NBC called “Brotherly Love,” a comedy inspired by Ben Simmons’ life. It’s the story of an NBA player like Simmons “...navigating life in the spotlight in Philadelphia, a passionate city where sports is in your blood, and your blood is always boiling,” to quote the article on NBCSports.com.

What you maybe don’t know is that the Ben Simmons pitch was just one of many pitches Mike made to NBC. Luckily, through the power of the internet, Liberty Ballers was able to track down all the Sixers’ related pitches they passed on.

Here they are…

Broad Street Blues - Starring Dario Saric and T.J. McConnell

A half-hour buddy cop comedy. It’s the story of a tough-as-nails South Philly cop and the Croatian detective he’s partnered with as part of a police exchange program. Each week this unlikely pair will solve cases ranging from ‘What really happened to Jerryd Bayless’ wrist?’ to ‘Who really fired the confetti cannon?’ to ‘Wait, so what’s the definition of a rookie?’ to ’Which burner accounts were Colangelo and which were his wife, that part of the story is still kinda confusing?’

33 Rock - Starring Robert ‘Rock’ Covington.

A half-hour multi-camera comedy. 33 Rock is a reboot of the hit NBC comedy 30 Rock that answers the question, wouldn’t 30 Rock have been even better if Robert Covington played the Liz Lemon character? And also Jack Donaghy? And Kenneth? And Tracy Jordan? And Lutz? Basically what we’re asking is, wouldn’t it have been amazing if Robert Covington played ALL the roles on 30 Rock? Which raises an even bigger question, what happens when a single actor is nominated for all the Emmy’s in the ‘Best Supporting Actor’ category?

The Big Swap - Starring Sam Hinkie and Markelle Fultz

A half-hour single-camera comedy. This show tells the story of Markelle Fultz and Sam Hinkie trying to navigate each other’s lives after swapping bodies on the night of the 2017 NBA Draft. We all know the story of Sam Hinkie’s incredible pick-swap trade, but Hinkie didn’t just make a deal with the Sacramento Kings, he made a deal the devil. What Sam didn’t realize was that the Prince of Darkness added a secret clause stating that if the picks swap, Sam’s personality would swap with whoever they pick.

Note: This show also explains why Fultz forget how to shoot.

King Joel - Starring Joel Embiid

An hour-long comedy. Joel Embiid learns that a distant cousin was the King of an incredibly small and incredibly rich African nation. He also learns that as the only surviving relative, he is now King of that nation. Suddenly he has to balance the life of a king with the struggle to become NBA royalty. A late-season twist has Embiid buying the team making him the NBA’s first player-owner-ruler. It’s like King Ralph mixed with Coming to America mixed with Ballers mixed with the NBA mixed with Joel Embiid mixed with comedy mixed with rambling and slightly confusing analogies.

Three’s More Than Company - Starring Brett Brown, Multiple NBA Players

A half-hour multi-camera comedy. Three’s More Than Company tells the story of Coach Brett Brown and a fictionalized version of his family as they host an eclectic cast of NBA characters. A mix of international stars who need a place to crash, troubled rookies far from home, and guys on a 10-day contract who are there for 10 hilarious days. Or at least mildly funny days. Don’t want to oversell it. Who knows how funny Shake Milton actually is.

Hanlen Your Business - Starring Shot Doctor Drew Hanlen, Multiple NBA Players

A half-hour comedy. This mockumentary tells the story of NBA shot doctor Drew Hanlen as he helps players with way more than just their jump shot. It’s kind of like the movie Hitch, if Hitch was about getting rid of a hitch in your shot AND getting the girl, preferably without posting something to Instagram stories like, “Who up? DMs open. (tongue out emoji).”

Four and Twenty - Starring Ben Simmons

An hour-long drama. Four and Twenty is the story of what happens after Ben Simmons wakes up one day and, in a modern-day twist on Kafka’s Metamorphosis, turns into an Australian Meat Pie. Not only is it a difficult change for any human to undertake, but it’s way more complicated when you’re an NBA player. Now that he’s a six-inch meat pie, Ben can no longer rely on his athleticism, and is forced to learn a whole different way to play basketball. Probably one that includes an outside shot.