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The Process has produced some of the weirdest and greatest memorabilia a sports fan could ever dream of. How many other fanbases would line up to pose with a cardboard cutout of Vlade Divac, or cheer the raising of a banner for a GM who resigned?
But this, my friends, may just take the cake. Someone in the Philadelphia area has created a life-sized Joel Embiid balloon doll, and it can be yours for the price of a few power tools.
Here’s the entire listing for the, uh, “product,” in case it disappears.
I don't know how or why but I am some sort of balloon prodigy, I can make literally anything out of balloons. Ridiculous giant balloon sculptures are great for parties, as a gift or just to leave on someone's porch as a weird and confusing joke. I left a 5 foot T. rex in the first unlocked car I could find and I still laugh about it every day. I can deliver most sculptures by car but large structures like a castle or working balloon pub would need to be finished on site.
Lifesized balloon sculptures take all day to make and can run into the thousands of dollars from party companies most of whom don't offer anything so customizable to begin with. I am looking to trade for tools. I got bored with balloons and am moving on to make things out of wood.
I am especially interested in:
Jointer/planer
Miter saw
A better miter gauge for my table saw
Impact driver
Router bits or accessories
Oscillating multi-tool
I can also always use building materials and useful things to keep my shop running well or just anything very interesting. I am not looking for money, some people actually do this for a career and I don't want to take a paying job from them.
In case you doubted that there was anything more than an absurd looking head replica, fear not, there is another picture.
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I don’t think I entirely agree with the premise that a bunch of tied together balloons are worth trading expensive power tools for, but hey, maybe one of you out there disagrees, and you can hang out with this replica of Embiid while you watch Sixers games from your couch.
Regardless of what happens with their favorite team’s core players, no one can ever accuse Sixers fans of lacking creativity.
(Editor’s Note: And let me just say—after being (mostly) off the grid for a week, trying to avoid basketball while on vacation, this brand of crazy was just what the doctor ordered to return to the “real” world.)