The Sixers lost 122-98 tonight, their 71st loss of the season. Sports are supposed to be for the purpuses of fun and entertainment, to take your mind off of the busyness of one's daily life, but the Sixers have just become a burden. There's no joy in watching this team for results purposes because they're getting kicked in the balls every night, and there's no point in watching them for process purposes, because there's no telling what a general manager with a history of shortsightedness might do to a franchise set up for the long haul. This team only brings me sadness, and I don't have the mental capacity to currently deal with that.
The only thing that makes me happy about the Sixers is not watching them, so instead of seeing Hollis Thompson shoot 3-11 from the floor, I focused my attention on the Michael Levin written episode of FOX's "The Grinder". I assumed it would probably provide more watchable basketball than anything the Sixers could, and bring me happy tears instead of the typical sad, blowout Sixers induced tears. I'm on the lookout for obscure basketball references and incessant usage of the word process, Bryan Colangelo style.
Without further ado, my live blog of episode 19, "A System On Trial".
9:31 p.m.: The show kicks off with a focus group discussing whether Rob Lowe can get people off (in the court room). If I wasn't convinced Mike wrote this episode before, the two minutes of sexual innuendos have now.
9:34 p.m.: Fred Savage, Rob Lowe's TV brother whose character is supposed to be an actual lawyer, is complaining about a focus group coming in to tell him how to do his job. I'm starting to make Sixers connections here. I imagine this is what Sam Hinkie said when they brought insisted on bringing in Bryan Colangelo to help him out. Christ, I can never escape this team.
9:35 p.m.: SOMEONE SAID, "PROCESS".
9:36 p.m: OH OH OH THEY GOT ROB LOWE TO SAY, "TRUST THE PROCESS". My god, they actually really did let Mike write this episode.
9:38 p.m.: Rob Lowe is now conducting a focus group. I wish the Sixers conducted a focus group on whether people liked Bryan Colangelo before they let his dad -- WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS HIRING -- help run Sam Hinkie out of town.
9:46 p.m.: Results from a couple of different focus groups are back and Fred Savage's family is taking it pretty hard. His daughter just got some terrible haircut because nobody knows who she was. Listening to the wrong people results in people getting some pretty awful haircuts, or in some cases, forcing your general manager to resignand handing the team over to the Colangelo family.
9:52 p.m.: Rob Lowe is now beginning to regret the focus group. "People could be wrong….Maybe they shouldn’t be the ultimate authority on things that they know nothing about." Fred Savage responds, "Or maybe there’s a middle ground where we listen to them and just take what we need." There's no middle ground, Fred. Don't let outside voices influence your process. That's how you end having your franchise taken over by an old man living in Phoenix.
9:56 p.m.: Wow, the focus group was right. Not only does Fred Savage's daughter possibly get a boyfriend from her messed up haircut, but the collection of random people Rob Lowe found at the mall also helped them find a big detail in their case. Maybe the Sixers did need some help from outside voices. Maybe Bryan Colangelo will be okay. Why the hell am I thinking like this right now? Is "A System On Trial" about exposing Hinkie for his wrong decisions and not being bogged down by our current way of thinking about the team? What the fuck, Mike?
9:58 p.m.: Going out with one last reference to the process. Feels right, except now this Fox comedy has me rethinking my opinions on the entire framework of the Sixers franchise. I wish I didn't care so much.
Congrats to Mike on an episode well written. The Sixers play their final game of the 2015-16 season tomorrow. Thank god.