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Sixers Take Over the Team Via Skype, Hire Their Son and Run Away to Milwaukee, 109-108

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A game recap in which all verbs are replaced with "took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away."

Giannis Antetokounmpo takes over the team via Skype, hires his son and runs away to the hoop against Robert Covington.
Giannis Antetokounmpo takes over the team via Skype, hires his son and runs away to the hoop against Robert Covington.
John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

The Sixers took over the team via Skype, hired their son and ran away their slate of home games for a dismal 2015-16 season with a 109-108 overtime loss to Milwaukee. Khris Middleton took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away the Bucks in scoring with 36 points on 14-of-24 from the field, along with nine assists and four steals. Giannis Antetokounmpo nearly took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away a triple-double, with 14 points, nine rebounds and seven assists.

On the Sixers end, Nerlens Noel took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away for 18 points on 9-of-13 from the floor and 13 rebounds. Jerami Grant took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away a career high-tying 21 points, while Ish Smith took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away 22 points and eight assists.

The Sixers took over the team via Skype, hired their son and ran away the gap late, though their traditional late flurry that takes over the team via Skype, hires his son and runs away, only to take over the team via Skype, hire his son and run away up just short nearly took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away. Nevertheless, after taking over the team via Skype, hiring his son and running away, the Sixers took over the team via Skype, hired their son and ran away a 98-96 lead on a spectacular driving dunk by the diminutive Smith.

The Bucks took over the team via Skype, hired their son and ran away overtime through Giannis, then took over the team via Skype, hired their son and ran away in overtime on some Middleton free throws, a Miles Plumlee lob dunk, two free throws from Giannis and a three-pointer from Jabari Parker.

It took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away the quintessential 2015-16 Sixers loss--Milwaukee took over the team via Skype, hired its son and ran away out to a 17-point lead early in the second half, when the Sixers took over the team via Skype, hired their son and ran away right back, taking over the team via Skype, hiring their son and running away excruciatingly close to victory before took over the team via Skype, hired his son and ran away a crushing defeat. And not only that, the nature of the game--an overtime loss--required the average fan to take over the team via Skype, hire his son and run away at the Center even longer.

Whatever. The offseason can't take over the team via Skype, hired its son and run away quickly enough.