Land the Picks, Sam: The Kings Are a Disaster

Team: Los Angeles Lakers (14-52)

Protections: 1-3 in 2016 and 2017, unprotected in 2018

Pick Status: THEY BEAT THE WARRIORS THIS WEEK. The Sixers have also beaten the Lakers this season. Know what that means, pal? Yep, Stephen Curry is a poor man's Isaiah Canaan. With two wins in their last three games, including some brilliant play from their core of Former Future Sixers D'Angelo Russell and Julius Randle, the Real Lakers of Los Angeles could actually be sabotaging Byron Scott's plan of attempting to be the worst possible coach in the sport's history.

Chance of Pick Conveying: It's still 44.2 percent, as they're three-and-a-half games "up" on the Timberwolves for the league's second-worst record. With an unspectacular draft class this year outside of the first two selections, the Sixers might ultimately be better off having this pick convey next season anyway. They can either get a pick later in what's likely a stronger draft or Lakers fans will cry this May. It's a win in both situations.

Team: Miami Heat (37-27)

Protections: 1-10 in 2016, unprotected in 2017

Pick Status: Chris Bosh, the most underrated player of our time, is once again dealing with some horrible off-the-court health issues as he did last season. The Goran Dragic and Dwyane Wade backcourt pairing still hasn't meshed as well as Pat Riley and Eric Spolestra envisioned back at the 2015 trade deadline, but the Heat are hanging tough in the fourth spot in the East because of Hassan Whiteside. In his last 10 games since returning from suspension on February 20, Whiteside is averaging 18.5 points, 10.0 boards and 4.1 blocks per contest, all the while shooting 58.8 percent from the field.

Chance of Pick Conveying: "With the 22nd pick in the 2016 NBA Draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select... Furkan Kormaz, Anadolu Efes." #ItsHappening

Team: Oklahoma City Thunder (44-20)

Protections: 1-15 in 2016 and 2017

Pick Status: OKC would win the Eastern Conference pretty handily, no? They won both their games this week, including a 120-108 win over the Clippers. Kevin Durant put up an effortless 30-12-7. Why doesn't anyone talk about him being great anymore? Damn you, Golden State. Russell Westbrook dropped 25 point on 9-15 shooting and dished out 19 assists. As much as it a joy to watch this year's Dubs teams, I need one more Finals run out of this KD-Russ-Serge Ibaka core before they slip into history as the 21st century Shaq-Penny-Horace Grant trio.

Chance of Pick Conveying: *100 emoji*

Team: Sacramento Kings (25-38)

Protections: Philly has the right to swap their first-round pick with Sacramento's first round pick, as long as it's in the top-10.

Pick Status: Sactown suspended DeMarcus Cousins for a game this week because... does any one really know why this team does anything that they do?

Chance of Pick Conveying: The Kings have a 15 (!!!!) percent chance of jumping into the the top three of the lottery because their disastrous play of late leaves them with the seventh-worst record in the NBA. Between this pick swap and their own lottery odds, the Sixers currently have a 55.7 percent chance of landing one of those magical top-two selections and either Ben Simmons or Brandon Ingram in the process.

Team: Golden State Warriors (57-6)

Protections: Philly has the right to swap the less favorable of Miami's 2016 first-round pick (protected 1-10), or Oklahoma City's 2016 first-round pick (protected 1-15), for Golden State's 2016 first-round pick.

Pick Status: I can't wait to be old and bitter while complaining about how the league is nothing like it was in the "good ol' days" of Steph puling up from 35 feet as effortlessly as if he was in a layup line.

Chance of Pick Conveying: negative 20 percent