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The JaKarr Sampson Commemorative Final Sixers Roster Spot

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BEST TEETH

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Because of the wonky back of one Donatas Motiejunas (#FormerFutureSixer), the Sixers trade deadline was at best, lame, and at worst, devastating. They either had deals fall apart on them or couldn't get GMs to seriously negotiate with them, and we ended up with JaKarr Sampson getting cut in a Romeo and Juliet-esque waive/double-suicide all for nothing. No second round pick. No Joel Anthony. Just a resentful Chu Chu Maduabum collecting four fouls in eight minutes somewhere in East Finland.

But if there's something good or fun to come out of this, it's that empty seat at the end of the dinner table. That last ticket to Six Flags for your 14th birthday where Mom said you could only invite 6 friends and you felt bad for the ones you had to exclude but then Jared's great-uncle died (natural causes) and you get a chance to bring in another pal, maybe one who even likes riding Medusa and doesn't just keep asking to get some of that sunscreen so he can re-apply.

The Sixers have a roster spot left. We have had zero rumors about who will fill it. Let's make 'em up ourselves.

NEW JAKARR OPTIONS

1. FORMER SIXERS

Let's get some out of the way.

The D-League Prospect Rankings are like a high school reunion for former Sixers. Will nobody remember the Ricky Ledo Sixers era?

I'm blog-obligated to say Furkan Aldemir, also. Setting tight-ass screens on a max contract wherever he is.

2. LOST LOVES

Xavier Henry. Greg Oden. Christian Wood and JP Tokoto (also in previous section). Quincy Miller.

I've written enough about these men to get me a restraining order.

3. STUNT CASTING

Baron Davis. Jan Vesely. Andrew Bynum. Brett Brown's kid. Jerry Colangelo himself. Marcus Mariota.

The Process is about to add a new member to the family. It'll end up being somebody boring like Greg Whittington, but until the 10-Day train begins rolling, who do you want to be new JaKarr?