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76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: They Sleep

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In this edition of the Sunday Morning Shootaround, Pierre Jackson wakes a few people up, Tyrone Hill adds another steal to his career total, and Nik Stauskas answers the one question that's on everyone's mind.

Future starting point guard for the Philadelphia 76ers: Pierre Jackson.
Future starting point guard for the Philadelphia 76ers: Pierre Jackson.
Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

Sadly, Joel will have plenty of time to play Mortal Kombat over the next few months. It's disappointing, but we can either be upset about it, or take that same energy to laugh at unflattering pictures of Sam Hinkie. I'll choose the latter, thank you very much.

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#TrustTheProcess #HireABetterPhotographer #OrUsePhotoshopAtLeast

As a president of an organization worth half a billion dollars, I'm sure Sam Hinkie has enough signature authority to hire a photographer that would take a more regal photo.

Dear Sam: I heard that Deb from Glamour Shots has an opening for a shoot this Thursday - I can send you a Groupon if you'd like. And please try and get some sun while you're out in Vegas. I know you spend a lot of time indoors and all, but you're only a couple of shades darker than @TVMWW.

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Speaking of The Evster, I would like to publicly apologize to the The 700 Level columnist for insinuating that he didn't throw down a single dunk during his tryout with the Sixers' Flight Squad. He made one. And then proceeded to get a backiotomy.

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Jahlil Okafor is The Sex, and there's no two ways about it. I imagine that the feeling that I get while watching him play is the same feeling that 47-year-old Anne in Iowa got when she thumbed through "50 Shades Of Grey" for the first time. And I'm not the only one: During last night's game, Reggie Miller - who insisted on pronouncing his first name "Jahil" - compared elements of Okafor's game to Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin and George Gervin. That's either high praise or proof that Reggie Miller has never seen an actual NBA game despite playing in 1,533 of them.

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They was a void left at the top of the Sixers' Moms Power Rankings after K.J. McDaniels was traded to Houston, but Denise Allen is making a play for the No. 1 spot. And speaking of No. 1, her son might be the best point guard on the team.

SIXERS' SUMMER POINT GUARD ANALYSIS

  • Pierre Jackson: Solid showing in his Vegas debut. #TheySleep
  • Scottie Wilbekin: Wasn't great on Saturday, but doesn't have to be to beat out the other PGs on the team. Could get an invite to camp.
  • Deonte Burton: *shrugs shoulders*
  • T.J. McConnell: "Wait... we gave you a partially guaranteed deal? In that case, sure... you can come to training camp."
  • Jordan McRae: "So you still have your place in Australia? Cool."

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Where have all of our heroes gone?

Here's the Cliff's Notes version: Former Sixer Tyrone Hill - who once owned 49 percent of a company called Greasers that specializes in cleaning kitchen grease traps - allegedly stole cash payments made to the company. Hill also used a Greasers truck to do side work for his competing grease trap cleaning company. There's no truth to the rumor that upon hearing these allegations, Charles Oakley threw a basketball at Tyrone Hill's head.

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Jahlil Okafor going to Ishkabibble's for a cheesesteak is a shockingly veteran move, but Nik Stauskas may have him beat.

Is it too late for Stauskas to get on the ballot for November's mayoral election? Asking for a friend.