One of those Sixers games where you're probably best off changing the channel now before it's too late.— Jake Pavorsky (@JakePavorsky) March 16, 2015
Tweeted 17 real-time minutes after the game tipped, the Sixers never threatened the Celtics. And indeed Young Jake was right in the mark. The Sixers fell behind by double digits early and never got close, losing a 108-89 to the Celtics. Nerlens Noel picked up 18 points but on 15 shots and 7 boards, and that's something, but his defensive effort was not among his finest performances.
It was a game where the most interesting question became "how is Gigi Datome going to torture the Sixers next," and if that's the question being asked then there is no worthwhile answer.
But there are worthwhile things you could have been doing instead of watching tonight's Sixers game. And here's a list of them below!
1). Build an altar to commemorate 3/16, the day Tim Tebow visited Philadelphia and worked out for the Eagles. Did I mention Tim Tebow came to Philadelphia today?
2). Eat tacos. Because everything is better with tacos.
3). Listen to podcasts on a loop. It's just like music!
4). Make jokes about Tim Tebow visiting the Eagles to take away from the pain that even though he won't sign, The Tim Tebow visited the Eagles today. And worked out!
5). Play a riveting pick-up game with your seven best friends and drain a fadeaway three Lou Williams style seconds before your game ends. You made your first million before you ever got laid.
6). Write your own DirecTV Rob Lowe commercials.
"Hi I'm Rob Lowe, and I have DirecTV."
"And I'm Celtics fan Rob Lowe, and I have cable."
"DirecTV lets you watch hundreds of channels."
"I don't have hundreds of channels, so instead I look at hundreds of pictures of past championships while trying not to think of the mediocrity my team is experiencing now. We can beat the Cavs!"
"With DirecTV's great picture, you can experience nature without ever leaving the house."
"And I experience nature by visiting an erupting volcano with Bill Walton." *volcano erupts* *ash rains down on their heads*
"Don't be like this me, upgrade to DirecTV today!"
7). Poop. No explanation needed.
8). Fill out a March Madness bracket after watching the least amount of college basketball possible this season. It's the only way to win.
9). Design a professional jersey better looking than that whatever it was the Celtics wore tonight. Notre Dame called. They want their color concept back.
10). Check for Bachelorette spoilers because oh my god if that fake crying woman actually becomes The Bachelorette....
The game was always a blowout, which while good for the Sixers pick, is bad for the Heat pick conveying. Anyone will tell you the Sixers pick is more important, but it would be like, rad, bro if the Heat pick conveyed this year as well. There's still a month to go, and the Thunder and Heat pick are likely to come down to the wire. There's still reason to watch NBA basketball during March Madness because of that reason alone, although despite its stakes, today's game wasn't exactly the epitome of drama.