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76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: Better Call Paul (Orndorff)

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In this edition of the Sunday Morning Shootaround, JaKarr Sampson goes home, Michael Carter-Williams picks up another obligation during All-Star Weekend, and we announce our new spinoff blog.

Months into his NBA career, people are still unable to get JaKarr Sampson's name right.
Months into his NBA career, people are still unable to get JaKarr Sampson's name right.
John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

First of all... JaKarr THOMPSON.

Secondly... if JaKarr SAMPSON was put on a bus to Akron, then JaKarr SAMPSON would just be going home. Sampson (aka Mr. Pickles) was born in Cleveland and is an alumnus of St. Vincent-St. Mary's High School, a place made famous by LeBron James (aka "The Whore of Akron").

Those private runs with King James (with Imagine Dragons and Hozier playing in the background, naturally) helped mold Sampson into a talent who, much like LeBron, is "capable" of playing virtually any position on the basketball court. But much like the rest of the NBA, he was incapable of guarding Kyrie Irving on this play. Don't worry, JaKarr Thompson: Uncle Drew does that to everyone.

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If you don't want to fall in love, don't click on the link above.

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.@joelembiid helps @nerlensnoel3 work on his post moves after Thursday's practice in #Boston

A video posted by Keith Pompey (@pompeyonsixers) on


For a fat guy, Joel Embiid did a pretty nice job of staying in front of Nerlens Noel in this clip. Hopefully, this puts to rest the rumors that the former Kansas' star is 300 pounds. Because if Embiid really does weigh three bills:

1) He has bones made out of adamantium (think Wolverine).
2) Since he has adamantium bones, he may or may not have retractable claws.
3) If he does have retractable claws, then he would be the best defender in NBA history. This is what Sam Hinkie alluded to when he mentioned "violence at the rim."

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Although they don't give us any kickbacks for the business we send their way, I feel obligated to let everyone know that tomorrow is Social Media Night at the Sixers' game. For $65, you can get a lower-level ticket, a #SixersSocial T-shirt, TEXTING GLOVES, and the opportunity to meet a Sixers' player mere moments after the Golden State Warriors run them out of the gym.

(Editor's Note: If the postgame meet-and-greet is either Malcolm Thomas or Furkan Aldemir, all attendees should be refunded 100% of their money.)

(Brief aside apropos of nothing: I would pay hundreds of dollars for one of Aldemir's game-worn "Celebrating Black History Month" T-shirts. Not anyone else's - his.)

Once again, I will make a public plea that the Sixers should steal the Atlanta Hawks' idea and have a Tinder Night down at the WFC. A little bird told me that the Boston Celtics were considering a similar promotion, but have reconsidered in light of The Edelman Incident.

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A pair of texting gloves to the person who can tell us every Sixer who ever participated in the Taco Bell Skills Challenge WITHOUT looking it up on Google, Bing, Altavista or Dogpile.

Sadly for MCW, there's been a slight change to the rules of Skills Challenge: At the last station, each participant ends his run with a 3-pointer. This could turn into the point guard version of The Chris Andersen Incident.

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Finally, I am pleased to announce the birth of our new spinoff blog, Liberty Brawlers. Consider it the "Better Call Saul" version of what we've been doing here for the past few years. We're still working on the logo, but once Sean O'Connor fronts us some loot from the petty cash box, we'll be up and running.

Our launch date is TBD, but here's a sneak preview of the posts that we have scheduled for the first week:

  • Tanner Steidel - Why Bret Hart Was The Willie Warren of the Attitude Era
  • Michael Levin - Film Room: Breaking Down the Schoolboy Rollup Finishing Move
  • Dave Rueter - Remember That Gimmick: Kama - The Supreme Fighting Machine
  • Roy Burton - How Roman Reigns Is More Predictable On Offense Than Tony Wroten
  • Justin F. - In Love With The Usos (Song Parody)
  • Matt Carey - WigginsWatch: Ranking the Best Tag Teams in NXT
  • Spike Eskin (Special Guest Post) - Have A Nice Day: Dude Love, the Sixers, and Why America Loves The Underdog