J.P. Tokoto Needs To Mix Up His Burger Orders

Just walked into Five Guys and before I got to the register to order the lady knew what I wanted already. Gotta start switching it up

— Jean Pierre Tokoto (@AirPierreTokoto) October 20, 2015

1. Five Guys is a great choice, as it's the premier burger chain in America.

2. I'm secretly waiting for an 8,000 word story on J.P. Tokoto's eating habits at hotels on the road. It's too bad he's unlikely to make the roster and we don't get a blurb like "we stocked the hotel room with kale and other nutritious vegetables, but they were never eaten, and the room filled up with empty paper cups once carrying sticky cajun fries."

3. But really though, J.P. my man: if you go to a burger place often enough, you need to change it up sometimes. There's 15 toppings at Five Guys! You could go spicy with jalapenos and hot sauce, or grilled onions and A-1 sauce, you could just put everything but mayo because mayo is an affront to humanity, or even nothing but meat and cheese. The possibilities are practically limitless provided you don't go every meal which, you know, maybe you should work on that...