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Sixers vs. T-Wolves Preview (by Dave’s Wife!!!)

Both teams come in red hot, entering tonight's contest with a combined two-game winning streak.

Can we have Dave's wife replace him permanently?
Can we have Dave's wife replace him permanently?
Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Liberty Ballers Blog Lord and D-Lo Brown impersonator, Mike Levin, used to crack himself up and only schedule me Sixers/Hawks game duties while he was running the show. I've covered seventeen Sixers games in my mostly disappointing blogging career here at LB and fourteen of those have been against the Hawks.

But Mike's not here anymore. He's gone the way of the dodo bird and the Montreal Expos and Jordan Sams. And I'm loving this new found diversity. I've only covered one game thus far this season, and it was against the T-Wolves. And now for my second game this season, after switching with Kyle, I'm covering the ... *checks schedule*

Oh hell.

Sure, former Sixer Andrew Wiggins is an angel sent from above, but how many contested Mo Williams jumpers must one man be subjected to? That first Sixers/T-Wolves game? I saw better quality of play on Hangin' with Mr. Cooper. I've served my time. I don't deserve this. My wife, especially my wife, doesn't deserve this. But I believe misery loves company. So I called in Games of Thrones enthusiast and infrequent Liberty Ballers commentator, LB Wifey, to write the preview for tonight's game. I bribed her with Pinot and her next choice of Netflix movie. (I still have Kevin Smith's comedy/horror flick, Tusk, high up on the queue, though. Don't you worry).

Now, for those unfamiliar with MJ's work, she is an incredibly beautiful, smart, and successful woman. I don't deserve her. But she doesn't particularly care for basketball, the Sixers, or sports in general really. She unfollowed Liberty Ballers Twitter because they "only talk about the Sixers. It's boring." Four years ago, she told me her favorite player on the Sixers was Wes Helms.

But I'm starting to rub off on her over here. She now follows the Sixers just enough to be dangerous. She still shows zero interest in the Eagles, but I'm wearing her down. She's one season away from a Todd Pinkston reference. I can feel it.

So without further ado, here's the Sixers/T-Wolves preview from LB Wifey.

I feel like you have to cover the Sixers game once a week.

Editor's note: I've only covered one game this season.

Why don't you write your WIBR blog anymore? At least that was funny and the subject matter had a bit of variety. (Thanks?) Your favorite team is like the worst team ever and all anyone ever writes about is how bad they actually are. When will the tanking end? You made me watch those Iverson games on TV the other night, and you were so into it. I'm trying to talk to my parents and you're screaming about Roger Bell. These were games that were played like 15 years ago, and you were so pumped. Like it was actually happening live. It was kinda sad. I felt like you were a minute away from putting on that tall guy's jersey (Manute) and humming "Glory Days."

Plus the Sixers don't have any fun players. There's that one fella with the cool name that I like (ed: Joakim Noah). He's got spunk. I'd be a bit more invested if the Sixers had him. But the only guy I really know on the Sixers is MCW. I heard his bestie is on the team. That's adoreable. Why can't we watch a show about their friendship? Like Homeward Bound, NBA style. Has to be better than Christina Milian's new show.

And why don't they practice defense? I thought you said that East teams stink? It's not like they're going up against the White Walkers. I don't think the Sixers practice at all. Iverson was all about practice. This team always seems to just stand around; probably wishing they were at happy hour or dreaming about dragons. I can't really blame them. That's what I would be doing.

The best part about the Sixers is their fight song. 10-9-8-76ers, 6-5-4 motha-effin 6ers. It's catchy. It's no, "The Bills Make Me Wanna Shout!" but it's up-beat and catchy! They only play the song when the Sixers win apparently, so I've heard it like, what, twice this year? Slam.

How are your little Internet friends doing? Mike? Tanner? Pavarotti? He's so cute! Does Sohil have a lady friend yet?

Oh and can you at least pick up a bottle of wine for me? Don't torture me. Actually, just get a box. And watch the game upstairs. I need to catch up on Downton.

It's Taco Friday. The fridge is stocked. Let's get weird.

Timberwolves vs 76ers coverage

Canis Hoopus

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