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76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: Royal Rumble Edition

In this edition of the Sunday Morning Shootaround, we find Waldo, laugh at JaKarr Sampson's misfortune, and look back to when a Liberty Ballers' writer captured the gold.

By Roy Burton
JaKarr Sampson ponders his retaliation for the ol' "aluminum foil on the car" trick.
JaKarr Sampson ponders his retaliation for the ol' "aluminum foil on the car" trick.
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

In case you were wondering, that was not THE Arnett Moultrie at the Sixers-Raptors game the other night. THE Arnett Moultrie was busy scoring seven points and collecting five grown-man rebounds in the Jiangsu Dragons 106-101 win over the Bayi Rockets. That said, I'm sure that the man in the jersey is somehow related to Moultrie: Why else would you wear that abomination?

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There would normally be a joke here, but what can I say about a man who walked more in one day than I have over the past week? I just hope the Sixers sprung for an Uber to take him back home - those Marple Newtown streets are dangerous at 1 in the morning.

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Howard Eskin - radio host/intrepid reporter/fur coat model - frequently laments that he can't get an audience with Sixers' general manager Sam Hinkie. Meanwhile (back at the ranch), not only did Liberty Ballers commenter raja_leon get a picture of the Loch Ness Monster Mr. Hinkie, but he engaged the GM in a brief conversation as well.

Let me state for the record that I will never forgive Spike for showing his dad how to use Twitter. But I do understand Howard's point in that it would be nice for the GM of a team to interact with the fans more often.

On second thought...

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#TeamWHOP Forever

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If Joel Embiid and Nerlens Noel promise to bring "violence at the rim", then what would you call this Keystone Kops' routine? I haven't seen three guys fail to score like this since me and my boys went to the 1999 Lilith Fair. Strangely enough, that was only the second-most embarrassing moment of that game that involved Jason Smith.

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Rookie duties and/or pranks have had their place in the NBA for years now. A while back, the 76ers used to have their first-year players bring Chik-Fil-A to the charter plane whenever the team headed out on a road trip. As a rookie, Arnett Moultrie was forced to carry around a Monster High backpack. However, it looks as if the stakes have changed these days as JaKarr Sampson left practice to find his ride covered in heavy duty Reynolds Wrap (full video here).

  • This had to take an exceptionally long time to pull off. Props to Sixers' writer Max Rappaport for his exquisite wrapping skills (you missed a spot on the grill, though).
  • How exactly do rookie pranks work when half of the roster consists of rookies?
  • It could have been a lot worse: The Sixers could have hit Sampson with the old "popcorn in the truck" trick. Dion Waiters was a victim back in 2013, and former Sixer Spencer Hawes assisted in doing the same to Jason Thompson when the then-Sacramento Kings' rookie failed to bring donuts to practice.
  • JaKarr Sampson is pushing an Escalade? I hope that's a month-to-month lease, buddy.

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Tanner - Warrior

And finally, we end this week's column with a belated Happy Birthday shoutout to the Ultimate Warrior/Tanner Steidel, who had a brief run as champ back in Allentown in the early '90s. Derek Bodner's birthday was also this past week (Happy Birthday, Derek!), but we were unable to acquire any incriminating pictures of him as a young child. If you could help us out on that front, please feel free to contact us at brandondaviesfanclub (at) gmail.com.

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