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76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: The Intern Diaries

Unbeknownst to his employer, Philadelphia 76ers' intern Ryan Minor (not his real name) has agreed to give Liberty Ballers exclusive, behind-the-scenes access to his life as an employee of our favorite basketball team. The first set of his daily reports is below.

We've got a man on the inside, giving us the goods on the Sixers. No, it's not the man holding the flag in this photo.
We've got a man on the inside, giving us the goods on the Sixers. No, it's not the man holding the flag in this photo.
Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Monday, August 25, 10:17 PM

Today was my first day as an intern for the Philadelphia 76ers.

3 Crescent Drive, Suite 300 at the Philadelphia Navy Yard isn't on Google Maps, so it wasn't the easiest place to find, so it's a good thing I left extra early this morning.

I met 50 new people today, and promptly forgot 45 of their names a few minutes later. I do remember that PR guy Mike Preston likes the show "Catfish" (who doesn't?), that Max Rappaport is a big fan of the Taney Dragons (who isn't?), and that Malik Rose swears that he's the best Madden player in the Delaware Valley.

Once I made my rounds, they handed me an old laptop (which had "Passionate, Intense, Proud" desktop wallpaper, natch) and stuck me in Adam Aron's old cubicle (I kid you not, there was some confetti on the chair before I sat down). For the time being, I'm the only intern here, but I was told that there would be a few more guys joining the team once the semester starts. The pay isn't great, but we do get college credits and free tickets, so if you need someone to hook you up with tickets to Sixers/Kings on March 13, you know where to find me.

I was assigned to the [redacted] team, which I assumed meant that I would be wooing potential clients and closing the deal on some advertising partnerships. Instead, I spent all day removing Thaddeus Young's name from the form letters that we plan on sending to season ticket holders next week.

These next few months are going to be fun.

Tuesday, August 26, 4:47 PM

Scott O'Neil stopped by earlier today to rally the troops. I'm pretty sure he gave us the same spiel he plans on giving down at the open house down at the Wells Fargo Center tonight.

In short, the team is building toward the future, while still providing a first-class gameday experience at the Wells Fargo Center. He told us that more than anything, our job is to help build connections between the fanbase and the Philadelphia 76ers' brand. Personally, I already feel way too connected to Brandon Davies: I wish someone would unconnect him from the roster.

Most of my afternoon was spent scouring the players' various social media accounts to make sure that they didn't post anything inappropriate. Joel Embiid pretty much gets a pass around here, largely because 65% of the office has no idea what he's talking about. I guess that's one of the perks of this job: You can have 20-minute discussions about Meek Mill and Bobby Shmurda, and it still counts as work.

Thanks, Joel. Keep it up.

Wednesday, August 27, 7:47 AM

I spent the entire Hasheem Thabeet era inside of a supply closet.

That isn't entirely true: Technically, Thabeet is still on the active roster - I happened to be the one who added his picture to the team Web site - but the word around the office is that we shouldn't plan on including him in any marketing materials. Not that we would, anyway.

When a friend of mine texted me about the trade, I was in our "promotions room" sorting through boxes of Allen Iverson Celebriducks (Ironically enough, we have exactly 776 left). Along with being the place where we store extra office supplies, the promotions room is where tchotchkes go to die. I can't tell you how many rally towels, "Together We Build" T-shirts, and Doug Collins bobbleheads we have left to give away. Actually, I can: I had to put together an Excel spreadsheet after I physically counted them all by hand.

Anyway, by the time I taped up the last box of "Run With Us" thundersticks, I walked back to my cube and found out that Thabeet has no chance of being on the team once the season rolls around. It's a shame: I was curious to see how many former top-10 draft picks we could have had on the roster.

By the way, if anyone wants a signed Ayla Brown poster, just let me know - we've got plenty of them (407, to be exact).

Thursday, August 28, 2:02 PM

It didn't take long to figure out that the best thing about working down at the Navy Yard is the food trucks. There was no Braz-B-Q today - their Hamburgao is a "winner, winner, chicken dinner" selection - but we did pretty well, all things considered. Brent Celek's Prime Stache truck is coming in for the last time this summer tomorrow, and the whole office is pretty fired up about that.

Again, when you work at the Navy Yard, it's all about the little things. I can only imagine what life it going to be like once the team moves the office to Camden.

I heard Sam Hinkie was in the office yesterday, but I didn't see him. For what it's worth, my desk/Adam Aron's old cubicle is far away from executive row - I'm not exactly sure why he didn't get one of the corner offices.

Friday, August 29, 6:16 PM

A lot of people called out because of Labor Day, so a bunch of us had to pitch in on the phones with the Sales team today.

God bless the folks who have to do this for a living - as much as I love this team, I can't imagine lying to people on a daily basis to convince them to buy tickets. When people ask you what you think about the season, it's not like you can say: "You have to understand that this is a process..." at the same time you're begging them to fork over thousands of dollars. Things will be easier once the mini-gameplans come out: "Buy tickets to see LeBron!" is a much better sell than "Get in on the ground floor of the Jerami Grant era!"

Personally, I think my three-hour stint on the phones was a success: I didn't sell any packages, but no one hung up on me, either. Most importantly, I was able to beat 2048 on my iPhone for the first time ever. Flappy Bird is up next.

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