Hey I want you to come slide in my DMs @KimKardashian— Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 16, 2014
Oh I didn't know you were married sorry @KimKardashian just saw it from the fan's tweet... have a nice day— Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 16, 2014
Back in the June 23 issue of ESPN The Magazine (yes... there are other issues of that publication besides The Body Issue), part of the feature article on Joel Embiid highlighted the fact that he was working with a consultant to learn the nuances of Twitter. About a month or so later, he may have already locked up a few NBA Social Media awards.
For the uninitiated, "slide in my DMs" is Twitter's version of a pickup line, but Embiid backtracked like Cary Williams once he "realized" that Kim Kardashian was married to Kanye West. Expect Yeezus to drop a few bars relating to our favorite Cameroonian center on his next album.
That wasn't Embiid's only notable tweet of the week:
Follow me on IG>>>>> joelembiid pic.twitter.com/kKfT1LjRfo— Joel-Hans Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) July 18, 2014
By the way, the list of Embiid's recent follows includes an actress (Lisa Ann) who makes movies that... aren't exactly family-friendly. This isn't over, folks...
(Pretty sure that a Joel Embiid reality show would be a massive hit, but I'm sleep, though...)
Just announced: Judges for @SixersDreamTeam finals at @parxcasino tmrw at 7p (free, 21/over): Marc Summers (@Ibatvmc) @mharrisCSN... (1/2)— Rebecca Timms (@rebeccatimms) July 15, 2014
.@SixersDreamTeam finals judges (2/2): @SeanBrace975 @devong975 @MinaSayWhat @Bex965 @TingleOnWired— Rebecca Timms (@rebeccatimms) July 15, 2014
Sure... let's not invite a few season ticket holders or maybe even some readers of the best Sixers' blog in the game to judge the Dream Team finals - that's too much like right. Instead, let's bring in a few radio personalities and the dude who hosted "Double Dare", because that makes sense.
Think about it: How great would it have been if the Sixers brought in Al Horowitz (aka "Old Man Knees") to officiate the dance team contest? I would have paid good money to see that man kneeling on the Parx Casino floor as dozens of women twerked in front of him. That's the least the team could have done for the man given the amount of money he spent to watch terrible basketball last season.
One of these men would have been an all-time great if it wasn't for myriad injuries that kept him from reaching his full potential. The other man is Grant Hill.
Somewhere in America, this man's name was added to a "Cannot Be Allowed To Procreate" list.
(Nothing for nothing, that's a heck of a job by the tattoo artist on that logo.)
The Onion: 76ers have enough cap space to infuriate fan base. http://t.co/66HZgQF659— HoopsHype (@hoopshype) July 19, 2014
Usually, a mention by The Onion is a "Look, Mama... I made it!" moment, but the greatest satirical site on the Web obviously didn't bother doing its due diligence on this one. If the Sixers wanted to infuriate their fan base, they'd use a large chunk of their cap space by signing a player who doesn't appear to be a long-term fit (Greg Monroe, for example). Or if they REALLY wanted to tick us off, they'd just re-sign Evan Turner.
Hey @Sixers, we're disappointed this guy didn't make the Summer League roster. Seen his demo reel for 20+ years now. pic.twitter.com/UEHNhWw4cM— Phoenix Suns (@Suns) July 16, 2014
@Suns We think his mom wanted him to focus more on his studies than his b-ballin... #ParentsJustDontUnderstand— Philadelphia 76ers (@Sixers) July 16, 2014
.@Sixers The city of Philly lost in the trade when his mom sent him to Bel Air.— Phoenix Suns (@Suns) July 16, 2014
@Suns You're telling us! It took us 23 years to fill the void... pic.twitter.com/lIGf1i9evr— Philadelphia 76ers (@Sixers) July 16, 2014
We did it, you guys. After years of publicly shaming the various social media accounts of the Sixers, we're finally at the point now where the organization has put someone capable (and, dare we say, entertaining?) at the controls of the Twitter machine.
This exchange between the 76ers and Suns Twitter handles was pure gold. To the man or woman manning @Sixers: Take a bow - you deserve it. You also deserve a raise as well, but there's not much we can do about that on our end.
Biggie. Sully. Unicorns. @TheJaxShow pic.twitter.com/6A9kmzQG6Y— Molly Sullivan (@MollyESullivan) July 18, 2014
We here at the SMS have a feeling that no one is going to pay attention to the most important part of this photo, so all us to perform that particular public service for you...
Jason Jackson put on some pounds since leaving ESPN - can't really fault him since Miami's food scene is ridiculous. Seriously though, based on what I've seen on League Pass, these may be the two best sideline reporters in the game. Just remember this photo a few years from now when Molly is off working for Fox Sports 1 while we're stuck with Gregg Murphy.
Fanny pack and lean take it to a whole other level.. #90sRock #WTF #BuffLesbian pic.twitter.com/dyqCDCBEZc— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) July 16, 2014
(For those wondering about the 76ers' connection: The Rock once worked out with Evan Mathis. Evan Mathis probably knows a Sixer or two.)
Who knew that a decade after this picture was taken, this man would be a New York Times bestselling author, an athlete that women across the world would swoon over, and one of the five greatest wrestlers of all time? Even Rory McIlroy's dad couldn't have predicted this.
I can't decide what's the most 90's thing about this photo: the high-top fade, the fanny pack, the earring, or the figaro chain worn OUTSIDE the turtleneck shirt. He really looks like the lost cast member from "A Different World" (he would have fit in well as Marisa Tomei's brother). But props to him for being able to poke fun at the picture (he really does look like a #BuffLesbian) - this is the greatest physical change since Megatron (the one from the original animated series) was able to make the transformation from a 35-foot robot into a handheld gun.
Today, the Vox Media DC office will (try) to settle the eternal Cake vs. Pie debate. What team are you on?— Vox Media (@voxmediainc) July 16, 2014
There is only one team, and that's #TeamPie. #TeamCake is made up of the people who rooted against the U.S. in the World Cup this summer. They probably also refer to jimmies as "sprinkles", and think lightning bugs are really called "fireflies."