76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: The Sing-Along Edition

According to the hashtag that accompanied the photo, this has something to do with "Ivy." I have no idea what Ivy refers to, but if there's an episode of a TV show out there that features/includes one Mike Levin, I need to see it (and then have someone smarter than I am rip it and post it on YouTube).

THINGS THAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2014 THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN IN 2014
1) Google's self-driving car
2) The Sixers' drafting of Andrew Wiggins
3) "Ivy"
4) The demise of Bitcoin
5) An Eagles' playoff victory
6) "Sharknado 2"
7) A Jersey Mike's location opening closer to my house
.
.
.
378) Dr. Dre's Detox

"Ivy" isn't listed on Levin's IMDB page which is impressive because... Levin has an IMDB page. Apparently, we can blame him for the downfall of both How I Met Your Mother as well as Saturday Night Live.

(Surgeon General's Warning: Do not go directly to Levin's Instagram page. If you do, you might accidentally stumble across a picture of a half-naked Dave Rueter.)

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If you go out for karaoke and "Just a Friend" isn't in the song book, you need to go immediately down your drink and make your way to another establishment (by foot/cab - we don't promote drinking and driving here).

Not only does everyone know the chorus, but there are plenty of moments in "Just A Friend" ("Oh snap! Guess what I saw?") that get the crowd going. On my personal Big Board, this is right up there with "Poison" by BBD and "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi.

It's going to be hard to beat this, Internet.

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I stand corrected.

Levin already wrote two hundred words about this, but that don't confront me. This clip is more layers than tiramisu: check out Collins's smug, post-lyric look followed by the fist bump, Bill Simmons's face screams "WTF just happened", and Sage Steele is visibly calculating in her mind how much of a raise she'll need to work with Jalen Rose next year.

But seriously... how in the hell does Collins know the lyrics to a Birdman/Clipse song? And how was he able to deliver it with only a faint tinge of lilywhiteness? As Rose mentioned, the track came out while Collins was coaching the Washington Wizards back in 2002-03 - below are the likely co-conspirators:

Bobby Simmons/Larry Hughes (2-1): These are the leaders in the clubhouse: Two young, hip guys who were heavy into rap back during the early part of the 2000s. Besides, Hughes has a teardrop tattoo like Birdman, so this makes sense on multiple levels.

Kwame Brown (12-1): He and Doug are BFFs, so this is possible. But it's hard to spit Clipse lyrics if you're eating all of the time.

Juan Dixon (500-1): The former Maryland product was a rookie back then, so Doug probably didn't talk to him during the entire season.

Michael Jordan (1,000-1): Doesn't seem like the world's biggest Birdman fan. Not sure why: Cash Money fans buy sneakers, too.

Brian Cardinal (N/A): Just... no.

For the record, I'm still not a fan of Collins' tenure here with the Sixers. Now if he spits Inspectah Deck's verse from "Triumph"? All bets are off.

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Why can't pitchers run ninety feet? Do they have metal legs or something?

— WIBR (@wheresbenrivera) June 1, 2014

Does no one remember Base Wars?

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The correct answer to this is the following:

PG: Anyone
SG: AI
SF: Anyone
PF: Anyone
C: Anyone

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You don't know what desperate means until you find yourself eating at a rest stop Roy Rogers on a Saturday night.

— Sean O'Connor (@soconnor76) June 1, 2014

OK... rest stop restaurants are always the worst restaurants, but I would like to offer a defense for the legendary Roy Rogers chain.

Their Bacon Cheeseburger is half of the reason why most of my clothes as a child came from the "husky" section of JCPenney, and the Gold Rush Chicken Sandwich is grossly underrated. Their food is almost - ALMOST - good enough to defeat the sadness that envelopes a turnpike rest stop once nighttime rolls around.

(Why are rest stops and bus terminals perpetually sad places? I think Vox.com needs to do an investigation.)

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holy RT @dexterfishmore: Didn't know this site existed. View all NBA transactions done by any particular executive. http://t.co/uYVRL1w68u

— Michael Levin (@Michael_Levin) May 19, 2014

If you ever wanted to kill an afternoon, just click on the link above and scroll through Billy King's transaction list. The former Sixers' GM was a one-man wrecking crew: He traded first-round picks for guys like Nazr Mohammed, Mirsad Turkcan and Jerome Moiso. Jerome [redacted] Moiso. And the Nets still hired him.

'Merica (by way of Russia).