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Philadelphia 76ers' Exit Interview Recap

The 2013-14 Philadelphia 76ers' season is in the refrigerator... the door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard, the Jell-O's jiggling, and the players and coaches are talking.

Nerlens Noel was the "center" of attention at today's exit interview extravaganza. Get it?
Nerlens Noel was the "center" of attention at today's exit interview extravaganza. Get it?
Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

The lockers have been cleaned out and the off-season phone numbers have been exchanged as the 2013-14 Philadelphia 76ers have parted ways for the final time.

It was a season filled with both record-tying futility as well as hope for what's on the horizon. With a healthy Nerlens Noel and two potential lottery picks in hand, Year 2 of the Brett Brown Era should be a far more fruitful and exciting campaign than the one we all just endured.

Before the last player turned out the lights at PCOM today, most of them (as well as head coach Brett Brown), took a few minutes to speak to the assembled media. A few highlights from Getaway Day are below:

Most of us wish we could relate to Noel's "dilemma"... #SkinnyPeopleProblems. On an unrelated note, we'd like to announce the Zoo With Roy-inspired, Liberty Ballers spinoff blog "I Want To Go To Federal Donuts With Nerlens Noel".

Seriously though, if Noel can stay around 230 pounds next year, that would be lovely. He's never going to be at a weight where he'll out-muscle the bigger 5s in the league, but 230 pounds should allow him to hold his own in the low post. As a frame of reference, New Orleans Pelicans forward/center/beast Anthony Davis is listed at 220 pounds.

For what it's worth, Noel tipped the scales at the NBA Combine last year at 206: The fact that he put on roughly 20 pounds (of what appears to be mostly muscle mass) in a year is remarkable, to say the least.

I'm cool with Byron Mullens's lukewarm response about coming back here next year: I'm not overly enthused about his future, either.

That isn't entirely true... he put up half-decent "looter in a riot" numbers in limited action this year. Mullens is by no means a starting-caliber center, but there are worse backups making way more than the $1.06 million he's set to collect next season.

This is why current players - and even some former ones (hi, Isiah Thomas) - should never be general managers.

And this would be Exhibit B. But let's provide some context on Thad's tweet, shall we?

Translation: He doesn't want to be here.

Well, he asked for a trade well before the deadline, and he wasn't exactly accommodated then. That said, a half-season of being a good soldier plus a relatively reasonable deal ($9.4 million next year plus a $9.97 million player option in 2015-16) means that there's a good chance that Young may not be playing his home games at the Wells Fargo Center this fall.

Following that statement, Brown told Brandon Davies to head down to Ocean City to see if there were any seasonal gigs available for under-skilled, 6'10" basketball players. I heard Manco and Manco was hiring.

Sam Hinkie is scheduled to speak with reporters in 2017.

Translation: If we draft Jabari Parker, Julius Randle, Doug McDermott or Joel Embiid, he'll probably be a 3 next year. Anyone else, and Thad will probably stick at the 4. Either way... keep working on that jump shot, kid.

If the Sixers somehow land the No. 5 pick in the NBA Draft Lottery, these will be some of the saddest somersaults that you've ever seen.

Fifteen thousand hours is a pretty large number even after you divide it among the 28 bodies who put on a Sixers' uniform this year. Some highlights from what has to be one of the most exciting spreadsheets in the history of Microsoft Excel:

  • Nerlens Noel: 1,094 hours
  • Brandon Davies: 217 hours (all of which occurred prior to Davies's finger injury in January; at that point, Brown and his staff officially classified Davies's development as "arrested").
  • Adonis Thomas: 1 hour
  • Arnett Moultrie: 5 hours (Developed a plan to convince him to put down the "Pineapple Express").

It's true: Coach Brown will remember these guys thru profanity. Lots and lots of profanity.

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