Durant, Thunder Pimp Slap Sixers (Or The Art of Multitasking with Seth Cohen)

It's a paint by numbers type season lately for the Philadelphia 76ers. On the road against a top tier western conference team has only lead to disastrous results (depending on how you look at it) for the red shirts. Tonight was no different as the Oklahoma City Thunder played the part of B-Rabbit in the slaughtering of the Sixers' role as Papa Doc by a final of 125-92.

This game was not expected to be close prior to tip-off so this obviously came as no shock to anybody. With arguably the best team in the NBA facing off against a squad that's lost 14 straight, it was a foregone conclusion that this one would be ugly. Even Vegas knew this one would be equivalent to Team USA hockey against Trinidad & Tobago at the Junior Goodwill Games, placing the line at 21. For a basketball game.

They weren't wrong. And it was clear from the moment the game started.

The Thunder got off to a……….. thunderous(?) start right from the get go as Serge Ibaka got the rock in the high post, barreled his way to the cup, and slammed it down while simultaneously absorbing the contact for the and-1. That wouldn't be the only easy buckets early on (and really all game) for the Thunder as they'd go on to get 14 of their first 16 points in the paint. Whether it was Ibaka or Kevin Durant, points were coming in from close like they were playing against a 6 feet and under intramural team.

James Anderson was keeping the Sixers afloat during the Thunder first quarter outburst by knocking down 14 of the their first 20 points, including 4 made triples during that first frame. He'd add another two more from beyond the arc during the remaining three quarters, but it was nothing that could have kept this team in contention.

Anderson did all he could, but it was nowhere near enough to stick with the top team in the West who were up 14 after the first and never looked back, thanks to the likes of their two-handed monster, Durant and Russell Westbrook.

Durant started off on a tear hitting his first seven attempts from the floor. He didn't have much difficulty in his next thirteen either, hitting over half of them as well. Oddly enough, where Durant struggled from tonight was the free throw line. An 88% free throw shooter, Durant shot just 66% on 18 total attempts against the Sixers. Takin it easy against, the youngsters. I like the gentleman's gesture, KD. With 42 points in his pocket before the end of the third quarter, it was just another night in the office for the DC native.

"See you tomorrow, Kevin. You bringing in coffee for the department meeting? Make sure mine is soy? Alright buddy have a good one."

Westbrook was tonight's winner of "Who Will Put Up Crazy Stats Against the Sixers - Hosted by Joey Gladstone". Before Russy even recorded a point, he already had 11 assists on his stat line. He shoots too much, I tell ya.

Oh, he also did this……..

R. Westbrook has played 21 mins has has a triple double. If he stopped playing, that would be least anybody has ever played and gotten one

— Derek Bodner (@DerekBodnerNBA) March 5, 2014

Your 2013-2014 Philadelphia 76ers. Get your schedule magnet from you season ticket representative.

There wasn't much of note from the Sixer side of this contest. The stat line says Michael Carter-Williams was only blocked three times but I'm pretty sure they meant per quarter. It was a foregone conclusion that when he'd enter the lane, either Durant or Ibaka would be there to swat the ball back. Add on just 4-12 from the field and it was another frustrating night in the life of the Syracuse rookie.

Wanting to be included, Thaddeus Young shot a dismal 3-13 and was in foul trouble all game. Tony Wroten took 12 shots and missed 75% of them. Eric Maynor looked as horrible as ever in 12.5 minutes of play. And the throw the cherry on top, Arnett Moultrie played about 8 minutes and had a blank box score.

The highlight for the Sixers had to be the lefty slam in the first half by Hollis Thompson. I have a soft spot for the cock-back dunk and Thompson's made me melt like a schoolgirl over Austin Mahone.

There was also this:

I don't know about you all, but I'm looking on the bright side: 13 and 6 in 17 minutes for Byron Mullens. #GlassHalfFull

— Roy Burton (@TheBSLine) March 5, 2014

I get sidetracked very easily and ended up watching Episode 20 ("The Day After Tomorrow") from Season 3 of the O.C. during the game. For those who don't remember (it has been 10 years, ya know), here's a refresher:

• Ryan gets accepted to Berkeley. Marissa gets accepted to Berkeley. Summer gets accepted to Brown. Seth gets….. denied from Brown
• Seth lies to Summer, saying he got accepted along with her. Why? Such a big eeegggooooooo - ehh ehh ehh
• Marissa is still rebelling against who the hell knows anymore, sleeping around with Volchok in the process.
• There's some terrible arc with Sandy Cohen and a hospital he wants to build.
• Upon hearing Ryan's news, his (extremely hot) girlfriend Sadie says she'll go with him and run her business from Berkeley. They've been dating two months. Ryan is partially the reason her cousin ended up dying. Seems reasonable to move in together.
• One day after hearing back from colleges, Harbor hosts a bonfire where all the seniors wear the sweatshirt of what college they'll be attending the following year. Making the kids rush a bit, aren't we?
• Marissa wises up, gets rid of Volchok, and elects to attend Berkeley for college. Her personality changes about every 5 episodes.
• Keeping up with his lie, Seth tells Summer he doesn't think it's best if he goes to Brown, breaking up with her in the process. Who breaks up with Summer Roberts?!? My goodness, Seth. Get your shit together.