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Sixers vs Pistons Preview: At Least We're Not Detroit

We're not Detroit!

Pictured: Stan Van Gundy when asked what his plan is to fix the Pistons
Pictured: Stan Van Gundy when asked what his plan is to fix the Pistons
Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Tonight, friends, you are in for a classic.

It's 1 vs 2. The two best teams in the league will square off tonight at The Palace of Auburn Hills, because, much like most things that come out of Detroit, the Pistons did their best to move to the suburbs as quickly as possible.

Of course, since you're reading this, you know that by "the best teams in the league," I mean the two teams that have found their way to the bottom of the standings.

Personally, I think it's great that Detroit has embraced the tanking strategy. I think it's a real winner. In fact, let's take a look at some quotes from their head coach and Ayatollah of Basketball Relations (not a real title) Stan Van Gundy on the subject of putting a terrible basketball team on the court, from just last year.

Former Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy said he wants all teams to try to win every game.

"Not what Philadelphia is doing right now, which is embarrassing," Van Gundy said in a panel that current Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie attended.

Well, OK, I mean, sure, Philadelphia is in fact two games behind the Pistons, so I guess that still counts as embarrassing. But I'm sure he elaborates further.

"I don't care, [commissioner] Adam Silver can say there's no tanking or what's going on -- if you're putting that roster on the floor, you're doing everything you can possibly do to try to lose."

Ah, yes, there's the money quote I was looking for. That begs the question of what Stan Van Gundy is currently trying to do exactly, because, from the outside looking in, I have no clue.

Is he trying to win? Because, as of now, he's two games ahead of a team that, as he so eloquently put it, is doing everything you can possibly do TO TRY TO LOSE.

Is he rebuilding The Right Way©? Because, I know if I were rebuilding a team, my first move would be to go out and give Jodie Meeks (former Sixers great) $6 million dollars a year for the next three years of my life.

Clearly he wouldn't build a team to lose, because that's embarrassing. And if his goal is to win every game, as he says, then he is currently a miserable, miserable failure on the first year of a five year, $35 million dollar contract.

He who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I don't know what Stan Van Gundy is doing, but the fact that he doesn't seem to either is far more embarrassing than anything the Sixers have done.

Take solace, Sixers fans. No matter how bad it gets, at least we're not Detroit.

Tip time is 7:30 PM Eastern StanVan Time. TCN for the locals, League Pass for those outside the blackout zone.