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76ers' Sunday Morning Shootaround: Thanksgiving Food Power Rankings

In this edition of the Sunday Morning Shootaround, we power rank the Thanksgiving Day options, warn you about which NBA player you should avoid getting into an argument with, and highlight a 6-year-old podcast that could give Serial a run for its money.

By Roy Burton
Michael Carter-Williams approves of the Thanksgiving Power Rankings.
Michael Carter-Williams approves of the Thanksgiving Power Rankings.
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

THANKSGIVING FOOD POWER RANKINGS

1) Pie (one or more of the following: apple, pumpkin, sweet potato)
2) Stuffing
3) Macaroni and cheese (Sean left this out of his original list - an egregious oversight)
4) Ham
5) Turkey (the only reason it's this high is that Thanksgiving and/or Christmas is the only time most people break out the whole bird - it's special)
6) Mashed potatoes
7) Gravy
8) Dinner rolls
9) Corn
10) Sweet potatoes/Candied yams
11) Cornbread
12) Green bean casserole
13) Cranberries/cranberry sauce
.
.
.
.
.
47) Brussels sprouts

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There are three rules in life:

1) Don't spit into the wind.
2) Don't tug on Superman's cape.
3) Don't get into a verbal sparring match with KG.

Throughout the annals of recorded American history, only one person has ever survived a verbal confrontation with Kevin Garnett and came away unscathed (Lavoy Allen's lack of visible emotion clearly helped him in this case). We all saw what Big Ticket did to Big Baby, and Glen Davis hasn't been right since.

Big Baby with an innovative sleeping arrangement on the team plane.

A photo posted by spenceneedle (@spenceneedle) on


But SOMEONE - make that, two someones - decided to poke the bear and rile KG sometime during last week's Sixers/Nets showdown. Nine points, nine rebounds, four steals and three assists later, Garnett and the Nets left Philly with an eight-point victory. KG's comments post-game:

"I had some females there that kind of got me going, I appreciate them."

I'm not even mad, Kevin: Females get me going, too.

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Public service announcement: Twitter now allows you to search for tweets back to the beginning of time.

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JOURNALISM.

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A search for "76ers podcast" on iTunes will turn up this delightful little gem: An archive of post-game clips from the 2008-09 season. Listen as Coach Cheeks and/or DiLeo explain away another loss! Download riveting audio of Marreese Speights mere minutes after he shoots 12 mid-range jumpers in a span of 14 minutes! And who doesn't need more Willie Green in their life?

There's also the "It's A Philly Thing!" podcast where Tom McGinnis and Todd MacCullouch recap random games with random people (Rodney Carney! Henry Bibby!) from the 2006-07 season. Have you ever listened to Serial? Well... this is the complete opposite of that.

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1) He's probably right.

2) Since the Sixers already paid him, and then waived him, would they have to pay him again if they brought him back? How does that work?

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NOW we can finally put the "Can Kentucky beat the Sixers?" debate to rest. My only complaints about this simulation:

1) There's no create-a-team on NBA 2K15 for next-gen systems?
2) LRMAM averaged nine rebounds per game vs. Kentucky. NINE. With nine other players on the court at the same time. As Ralph Wiggum would say, that's unpossible.
3) Aaron Harrison kicked off the series with an airball 3 - I thought the Sixers were the only team that did that?

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Am I the only one clicking "Favorite" on all of these anti-Sixers tweets so that I can go back and RT them a few years from now? I am? Oh well... carry on, then.

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