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76ers Sunday Morning Shootaround: The Allen Iverson as Assistant GM Edition

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In this edition of the Sunday Morning Shootaround, we learn that 48 minute games are simply too long, Nerlens Noel breaks out the Harlem Shake, and the Sixers give tickets away just for asking.

Brett Brown thinks that his team has trouble playing 48-minute basketball games. We tend to agree.
Brett Brown thinks that his team has trouble playing 48-minute basketball games. We tend to agree.
Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

BREAKING: All NBA games are at least 48 minutes long.

In Brett Brown's defense, injuries have thinned out his roster quite a bit (missing you, Jason Richardson). And even among the healthy players, there are those that have no business being on an NBA roster (you all know who I'm talking about), making things that much more difficult for a team that has its work cut out for it every night.

Dear Adam Silver: If you could fast-track that 44-minute game proposal, we'd appreciate it. Or better yet...

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The Sixers didn't score during the final 8:19 of the Milwaukee game, yet they weren't the ones responsible for the most embarrassing play during that stretch.

Take a bow, Larry Sanders. If you didn't make $11M/year, we'd probably find some way to bring you here.

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Wait... what?

Now that the Larry Brown/Scott O'Neil dustup is a thing of the past, we can focus on the most important suggestion offered by the third-greatest coach in Sixers' history: Assistant General Manager Allen Iverson.

Head coach Bubbachuck is little more than a pipe dream (an NBA team simply can't survive with a "practice optional" mentality), but A.I. as Sam Hinkie's right-hand man? Who says no?

During a sit-down with a half-dozen bloggers last October, Sixers' GM Sam Hinkie dropped a blackjack analogy when discussing strategy. A.I. was/is so adept at 21, he was allegedly banned from Detroit casinos for "cheating" (and perhaps other behavior).

Ben Falk? He's brilliant... probably a real nice fella if you get to know him. Maybe even good at blackjack. But he's not a basketball guy. And he definitely doesn't have "Money Bagz" tattooed on the back of his hand like Iverson does.

Analytics are cool and all, but you know what number matters the most for a basketball team? POINTS. And Iverson has 24,368 of them.

It's Jewelz Time.

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It looks like the folks who helm The Fast and The Furious franchise have turned the ridiculous meter up to 11 for the upcoming Furious 7. Oh... and for what it's worth, it seems that physics and logic don't count for much in the FF universe (Pro Tip: Even if you're as strong as Dwayne Johnson, you can't "flex" your way out of an arm cast). But this one has Jason Statham in it, so I'll probably go see it.

(Side note: Am I the only one who doesn't think that Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift was complete and utter garbage? Missing you, Shad Moss...)

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@Sixers Twitter handle >>>>>>> Ticket Oak

We're at the point of the season where if you merely ask for tickets to Sixers' games, they'll give them to you. The season is less than a week old.

Hopefully, the tickets were in the upper level - I'm not sure how well the team's new 3D intro plays in the lower bowl.

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This may or may not be the smartest cat in the world. I hope I can use a similar excuse when I have to do the post-game writeup after Sixers/Mavericks next week.

(By the way, do yourself a favor and check out baus3r21's timeline for photos from last week's Sixers' meet-and-greet). Speaking of which...

#YoungRunFunDance

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This was true... until the Sixers waived Marquis Teague. THAT'S more demoralizing than anything.