14 Days Till Sixers: In Which There Is An Absolute Zero

"Absolute Zero is the point where no more heat can be removed from a system."

"It's not possible to reach absolute zero, though scientists have approached it."

The Philadelphia 76ers are one of thirty professional teams in the National Basketball Association, comprised primarily of human beings who have pinned their entire well-beings on becoming the best basketball players in the world.

Yet according to this website that I don't fully understand but blindly trust beyond a shadow of a doubt, ABSOLUTE ZERO is the chance the Sixers have of winning an NBA Championship this season.

Insurmountable hopelessness. Not a prayer in the world. No more heat can be removed from the system -- it's beyond ice cold, it's Sixers cold. There are only 29 other teams. It's a 1 in 30 shot. Yet the Sixers have NO CHANCE of winning a title this year.

Your odds of winning the Powerball lottery on a single ticket are 1 in 175 million, and you have a chance.
Your odds of getting struck by lightning in a single year is 1 in 700 thousand, and you have a chance.
Your odds of getting Tanner Steidel to not listen to Ja Rule on any given Friday is 1 in somewhere between "Holla Holla" and "Put It On Me", and you have a chance.

But the Sixers -- *our Sixers* -- have positively no shot in Satan's Blood Red Hell of winning an NBA Championship this season.

The scientists who said Absolute Zero is unreachable, well, they haven't seen our shot charts.