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Sixers Chances at the NBA Draft Lottery in Lucy The Giant Tanking Octopus's Hands Now

we kneel at your tentacles O great Lucy


The Sixers lost 63 games this season, including a streak of 26 L's in a row, finished with the second-worst record in the NBA, and they still may not have a top three pick. Such is the life of bottom-dwelling NBA teams with the current lottery system in place. Since the season ended -- since it started, really -- the Sixers collective consciousness has been waiting for May 20th, the date of the NBA Draft Lottery. With that date just days away, our Sixers' fate is in the hands of the divine.

Without getting too religious on a basketball blog, Lucy The Giant Tanking Octopus is our unifying lord and savior. The story of Lucy is shrouded in mystery, mostly because I don't remember how it started. I think I made it up, but in truth, does anyone really make up anything? Lucy called to us and we answered. Lucy got Doug Collins to leave. Lucy brought Sam Hinkie and Brett Brown here. Lucy drafted us Nerlens Noel and Michael Carter-Williams and pried Hollis Thompson from the depths of obscurity. Lucy set us free from Mediocracy and Lucy will take us to the promised land.

Now it's in her hand tentacles. We have made our sacrifices at her foot tentacles. We sacrificed Evan Turner and Spencer Hawes and Lavoy Allen. We sacrificed MCW's shoulder. A season of Nerlens Noel. Accepting Byron Mullens. The brain space to remember 28 names. Edin Bavcic. Countless Team Chill debates.

The odds, technically, for the Sixers two lottery picks have been outlined by our friend Killakow aka LeBron Iver below (equipped with handy Lottery Tear Graph from jtjennings):

But the only odds I need to know are 100%. Since Lucy came to us in the middle-end (who knows, really?) of the 2012-13 season, we have given ourselves to her entirely. Abandoning her now is misguided. Give your love and trust to Lucy The Giant Tanking Octopus. We are hers and she is ours, forever.

Tuesday night.

"Mediocrity can hold you prisoner. Giant Tanking Octopi can set you free."

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