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2013 ESPN Player Rankings: Sixers Claim the 'Mr. 500' Title Yet Again

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Looking around the house. Hidden behind the window and the door. Searching for signs of life but there's nobody home.

At a pull, Kwam Kwam.
At a pull, Kwam Kwam.
Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

ESPN and True Hoop Network have released their annual Top-500 NBA Rankings List, a list that a few years ago was notoriously anchored by 'Mr. 500,' Lavoy Allen. Players 400 - 500 were unveiled yesterday, and, as expected, the Sixers are peppering the bottom half of these rankings like a poor man's Tony Gwynn. Hit 'em where they ain't, Tim Ohlbrecht.

But it's not all doom, gloom and missed jumpers over here. Despite the Sixers' roster low standing with the people at ESPN, Residential Demigod, Lucy, has ELEVEN Sixers ranked in the top-15 of her must-have sacrifices - a list that can be found here.

Without further ado, your 2013-2014 Sixers!

#647 Andres Nocioni: His heart says 'yes,' his body says 'veteran presence.' - Ricko

#625 Willie Warren: Arguably, nay, THE most talented player in the 2010 NBA Draft. - Tanner Steidel

#612: Vonteego Cummings: The veteran can fill it up, but can he defend anyone? Also, shot selection is a concern. - Tim Legler

#587: Trevor Ruffin: The former Hawaii star had a breakout campaign for the Sixers in '95-'96, but it's 2013 now. - Jalen Rose

#561: Michael Ruffin: Ruffin can still contribute on the glass, but can those 36 year old knees hold up for 82 games? - David Thorpe

#559: Bruce Ruffin: This LOOGY still has some bite on his breaking ball, but righties slugged .737 last season. - Keith Law

#500: Royce White

#495: Tim Ohlbrecht

According to ESPN, you can reach Tim on Twitter at @Sixers.

#466: Arsalan Kazemi

Interesting ranking for the best rebounder in the Iranian Super Basketball League. Let me guess, Moses is #465?

#450: Kwame Brown

Not even Jupiter can fill space quite like Kwame.

#429: James Anderson

#420: Darius Morris

New Sixer, Darius Morris, torched the Sixers back in December. As the saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, sign 'em to a partially-guaranteed contract.

#411 Chris Duhon

Just assuming ...

Other Notables:

#499: Fab Melo

#492: Maalik Wayns

#483: Seth Curry

#482: Justin Holiday

#449 Damien Wilkins

The Anti-Tank. Still on the market, because every lousy team is terrified of signing him.

#438: Former Sixer, Nate Wolters

#431: Shelvin Mack

#403: Hakim Warrick

Almost met Hakim once. Kinda did. Sorta.

Thoughts? Comments? #428 for Luke Walton seems a bit high, no?