Have you ever tried to play through an entire 162-game season in a baseball video game before? Well... that's EXACTLY what watching Summer League basketball is like. It always seems like a good idea at the start, but after 15 minutes, you're looking for the reset button.
This year's summer league roster isn't nearly as sexy as last year's offering (HOW COULD YOU BE MOE HARKLESS?), but could have had potential if the Sixers had been able to hustle Royce White on a Megabus down to Orlando.
There's also the sobering reality that the Sixers are playing in Orlando (which is closed to the public) instead of Vegas (which is open to the public and in [redacted] Vegas). Jake Pavarotti is excited, but he's 12 years old and doesn't know any better.
Speaking of Royce White... he likes us! He really likes us! I have no idea what the #ManHunt hashtag is all about though: Around here, we prefer #ShowYaLuv.
Damn, @slimthugga campaign strong. Dat boy good— Damien Wilkins (@dwilkins3000) July 5, 2013
In case you missed it, Dwight Howard decided to join the Rockets this weekend, and part of the credit is being given to Houston-area rapper Slim Thug.
In case you missed the relevant portion of his career, Slim Thug was a rapper of some consequence in the middle part of the last decade. He had a star turn on Mike Jones' "Still Tippin'" back in 2005, and Mr. Thug had a three-year run where he was constanly in rotation on MTV2 (back when they played videos) with songs like "Check On It", "Like A Boss", "Keep It Playa", "Wamp Wamp (What It Do)" and "I Ain't Heard of That". But I digress...
At the start of free agency, Slim Thug went on Twitter & pleaded with Dwight to link up with the Rockets. Not only did Slim Thug point out the difference in the cost of living, but he advised Howard to leave L.A. because "Kobe gone act like a girl."
And being the salesman that he is, Slim Thug also promised to help Howard in the... romance department by introducing him to scores of... models. And as well all know, Dwight has an affinity for women.
Howard, of course, signed with Houston. And, like a girl, Kobe unfollowed him on Twitter. At this point, I think Slim Thug could recruit enough talent to turn Temple football into a top-25 team. If he could do that, turning water into wine would be a piece of cake.
Thaddeus Young is the consummate professional - it's going to be so sad when Sam Hinkie trades him for a huge bag of air and a future first-round draft pick.
One of the perks of writing for the preeminent Philadelphia 76ers' blog is being asked to judge the Sprite Slam Dunk Showdown each year. Tanner Steidel got the nod last summer, and yesterday, Dave Rueter got the chance to rub elbows with the incomparable Darryl Dawkins.
According to several sources, I was told that each judge had to go through an intensive vetting process prior to the event. The Sprite Slam Dunk Showdown qualification test, in its entirety, is below:
1) Was Andre Iguodala robbed in the 2006 NBA Slam Dunk Contest?
B) The wrong answer.
Dave, of course, passed with flying colors and was given the coveted slam dunk scorecards. According to Tanner, Dave was very heavy-handed with the 10s, which is not all that surprising: Being the sweetheart that he is, Dave is the kind of guy you want as a teacher, but doesn't seem like the type who is comfortable giving out bad news (unlike Michael Baumann).
Oh... some guy named Air Kodiak took home the crown yesterday. I would tell you to be on the lookout for a recap of said event, but Rueter has already reached his "two posts per calendar month" limit.
The most important news from the contest? We've officially received the green light for the new Dawkins/Rueter buddy cop series "Chocolate Thunder/White Lightning." Jesse Ventura co-stars as the cranky, but well-meaning, Lt. Briggs, Omar Epps/Willie Mays Hayes serves as the informant, and Shannon Tweed is the smart aleck witness/quasi-love interest (think Tea Leoni in "Bad Boys"). "Chocolate Thunder/White Lightning" is scheduled for a March 2014 release on Amazon Instant Video.