— lauren cheney (@laurencheney8) June 21, 2013
I'd say that was the perfect game to retire my last name. Next time I put on that jersey I will be a Holiday.
Well, it appears that congratulations are in order for one Jrue Holiday, who is about to walk down the aisle with long-time girlfriend Lauren Cheney in July.
Jrue, of course, is an All-Star NBA point guard. Cheney, meanwhile, is a stellar forward/midfielder for the U.S. Womens' Soccer Team. Just a hunch, but it's safe to say that their kids are going to be pretty decent athletes. Hopefully, the happy couple doesn't sell the naming rights to their baby like it appears Kim and Kanye did.
(Hat tip goes out to Justin F. for bringing the tweet to my attention. For the record, Justin is the only member of the LB staff who doesn't have his last name listed on the site's masthead. I applaud his attempts at trying to stay off the grid - Ghostface Killah tried to do the same during the early years of the Wu-Tang Clan, but to no avail.)
Everybody go unfollow me on vine.— Dorell Wright (@DWRIGHTWAY1) June 20, 2013
You've probably all heard the news: You can now shoot video with Instagram (with filters!).
So, instead of being subjected to pointless, six-second video clips on Vine (R.I.P.), we'll now have to sift through pointless, 15-second video clips as we scroll through our Instagram feeds. Case in point: This video of Swaggy P's assistant Big Meat getting a chance to drive a Ferrari for the first time.
We can do better, people.
To be fair, Vine will still be around in some form thanks to its integration with Twitter, but Instagram's move to video is pretty much the Tombstone Piledriver for services like Tout, Keek and SocialCam, which were used by a grand total of 37 people.
Continue watching Danny Green rain 3's or tune into the Miss USA pageant? So many decisions, why must my life be so difficult— Lavoy Allen (@chefVOYardee) June 17, 2013
So while the engravers of the NBA Finals MVP award were debating whether to go with "Danny Green" or "Daniel Green" last Sunday, Lavoy Allen was busy watching the Miss USA competition. If you're a long-time reader of the SMS, this shouldn't surprise you.
Congrats to Miss Connecticut for winning the crown, though if I had a vote, it might have gone in favor of Miss South Carolina (803 - stand up...). And unfortunately, Miss Utah was knocked out of contention after giving the worst (read: best) answer when asked why women earn less than men.
Not gonna lie. Not really feelin Kanye Album— That Boy Jrue (@Jrue_Holiday11) June 19, 2013
Kanye's West's sixth studio album - "Yeezus" - dropped this week to mostly positive reviews.
(Technically, Yeezus was available via torrents and a number of file-sharing sites on the afternoon of June 14. However, as we all know, illegally downloading albums is wrong.)
The thing about Yeezus (which clocks in at just over 40 minutes) is that it somehow gets better every time that you give it a spin. The Telegraph's review of the album is pitch perfect: "At first listen it sounds messy, but the more you play it, the more inspired and essential each brutal interruption becomes."
So basically, Yeezus is like the fine wine of hip-hop albums. Or, it other words, it's a lot like this Vine of Adam Aron announcing the Delaware Sevens.
(Editor's Note: For the record, the Sixers need to thank Yeezus that Instagram video wasn't around when they shot this. 15 seconds of AWKWARD TENSION.)
(Editor's Note II: Sevens shirts exist out in the wild. WANT.)
Damien Wilkins (@dwilkins3000) June 17, 2013
That sound you heard during halftime of Game 5 of the NBA Finals was America losing its collective [redacted] over the Jay-Z commercial announcing the upcoming Magna Carta Holy Grail album.
The three-minute mini-infomercial has already been viewed more than 13 million times on YouTube, and the staff here at the Sunday Morning Shootaround has more than a few thoughts on the clip:
- From the looks of it, Jay-Z assembled an impressive Mount Rushmore of producers for Magna Carta (Rick Rubin, Pharrell, Timbaland, Swizz Beatz). Swizz Beatz is clearly the odd man out in this group, and if Jay was somehow able to replace him with Kanye (or Yeezus, or whatever we're supposed to call him these days), then the instrumental version of Magna Carta would go platinum within a week.
- Jay-Z is at the point in his life where there's a vast majority of people who will co-sign anything that he does. Exhibit A: He suckered tens of thousands of people to buy Brooklyn Nets gear even though he owned just 1/15 of 1 percent of the team. Exhibit B: There are at least a dozen articles out there telling people where to buy the $170 "Go Home!" sweatshirt that Jay sported in the commercial. But as influential as Shawn Carter is, even he couldn't convince a jury that Patriots' TE Aaron Hernandez doesn't belong in jail.
- I wonder if Jesse Williams shot the commercial for Magna Carta Holy Grail on his Samsung Galaxy S4. Who's Jesse Williams, you say? Why, he's the man with the crazy eyes that ABC trotted out during halftime of each Finals game. He's pretty much the male Medusa: If you look directly into his eyes for more than two seconds, you will turn into stone.
- Jay-Z made $5 million off of Magna Carta weeks before the album's actual debut thanks to an exclusive distribution deal with Samsung. He could have made $50 million if he just created a Kickstarter asking people if they wanted an advance copy of the album a couple of months before the release date. But hey... no one asked me.
- Rick Rubin spends an inordinate amount of time during the commercial lying on a couch with a beard that Karl Marx would be proud of. Then again, if I were worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $400 million, I'd probably spend all day on the couch, too. I may or may not ever shave.
- Much like Oprah, Timbaland's weight fluctuates on a monthly basis. It appears we're in a "fat Timbaland" stage right now (as opposed to the "HGH/deer antler Timbaland" we saw a few years back). But while his eating & workout habits may have taken a hit, the good news (for us) is that this probably means that some quality music is in our future (for reference, see "fat Timbaland" (in this clip from the "Fade To Black" documentary).
- Jay-Z generated buzz for his album with an ultra-long commercial during the NBA Finals. Kanye West generated buzz for "Yeezus" by projecting a video of "New Slaves" on the side of Geno's Steaks. Advantage: Hov.