A large-scale professional basketball team in the Greater Philadelphia area seeks Head Coach. Apply within. Tell no one.
- Mentoring mediocre basketball players through the nadirs of their careers.
- Requiring players to shoot thousands of corner three's a day.
- Tolerating the Philadelphia media. This is a dealbreaker for some.
- Pretending the losses bother you when really you're doing a great job. Tanktastic.
- Inventing clever reasons why Kwame Brown Did Not Play.
- Falling on the sword for the front office while the team struggles for years until a superstar is found.
- Must be agreeable splitting time with interns.
- You're not Doug Collins. Go play with your grandkids, Doug.
- A lack of proud ignorance as to the statistical resources at our disposal.
- Must have publicly trashed Spencer Hawes at some point within the last two years.
- Must not be bothered by thousands of empty seats.
- Must not get thrown by professional wrestling or popular fantasy novel references.
- Silly or pun-able name is a plus.
- Fancy college. Preferably Ivy League. Will settle for Stanford or Lehigh. Anything but Temple or Penn State or West Chester.
- Tweet #NewSixersHeadCoach with a Twitpic of your resume and cover letter.
Philadelphia 76ers basketball team in Philadelphia is NOT an Equal Opportunity Employer.