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The Sixers this season are at the absolute top of the mountain in terms of conflicting reports. Is Andrew Bynum ready for opening night? Did Bynum practice? And now: will Doug Collins take some sort of consulting role with the Sixers front office to stay with the team after he quits tomorrow? Yes or no? Will he or won't he? Ross and Rachel! Ted and Robin! Nick and Jess! JUST DO IT ALREADY!!
Here are the conflicting reports in all of their conflicting glory:
According to Doug Collins' agent John Langel, Collins has negotiated "new relationship with 76ers" as "special consultant" to franchise
— Marc Stein (@ESPNSteinLine) April 16, 2013
And now Doug Collins' agent John Langel issues press release saying 2PM release on "new relationship" being finalized w/Sixers is inaccurate
— Marc Stein (@ESPNSteinLine) April 16, 2013
Doug Collins. False alarm or premature release? His agent says, "It's a mistake, it’s not true, it’s been withdrawn."
— Dan Gelston (@APgelston) April 16, 2013
So wait. Is John Langel contradicting himself or is he two different people or is he getting misled by his own consultants on who is consulting for the Sixers. Consulting Contradiction, I believe, is the new Sum 41 album. I'll see you in line at Tower Records.
It seems that we should trust the *last* thing that was said, which is: there is no new relationship. It's Complicated on Facebook. Doug's status is simply a :/ emoticon. Maybe a song lyric or two. Maybe it's a Barry Manilow song.
Obviously, I want Doug ridiculously far away from the front office. The Sixers already have incumbent money sucks in Julius Erving and Rod Thorn and the last thing they need is Doug Collins giving them wet willies with his misguided personnel advice. Hip-Hop and Francisco Elson also reportedly coming in to be Sixers consultants.
But upon some reflection, I'm probably with Spike in that this would be in title (and money!) only. At this point, we don't know anything. It's happening and it's not happening. John Langel seems like a great agent to have!
Sixers gonna Sixers to the very last drop.