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Sixers vs. Hawks: Spiderman Can't Stop the Tanking Express

This is a preview of a basketball game.

Dorell is very upset that this isn't a real preview.
Dorell is very upset that this isn't a real preview.
Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

The Sixers play the Hawks tonight.

If you're still reading, you have a problem. For your sanity's sake and mine, I'll stay away from any basketball-related specifics of this evening's affair.

Yesterday I made the decision to avoid watching the Sixers lose to the Celtics on national television. I needed a night off. And it was wonderful. I stayed away from Twitter, stayed away from scoreboard watching, and just went about my evening, catching up with the Sixers' box score later, just like your average casual fan would in a 23-36 season. It was the best.

But unfortunately, I'm an addict with a blog. I can't step away for too long. The Sixers call to me. I can try to Spiderman the oncoming train as much as I want, but the force of the train will win and those New Yorkers are going to plummet.

If that's too morbid: This season has become a very long, arduous cold open to Kenan & Kel. The popular late 90's sitcom opened with Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell on stage in front of a curtain speaking to the audience. They goof around about something for a time before Kenan alludes to some potentially unsavory future for Kel in the show they're about to put on and he crosses off-stage. Kel tries to call Kenan back, but it's hopeless and at that moment that Kel exasperatedly shouts one of the most important lost catchphrases of our 90's societal lexicon: "Aww, here it goes!"

I'm incapable of finding a better way to sum up the Sixers season than Kel Mitchell.

P.S.: Hi Lou Williams. I hope you are healing nicely. Let's try not to make things any more awkward between us.

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