Suck Brick, Kid: Sixers Beat Bobcats Because They're The Bobcats

I like my life. I like it quite a bit. So, I believe, do the other people who generously spend time writing for this site. Why do we willingly bludgeon our collective sanities for the Philadelphia 76ers? I have no idea. It's an addiction. Bubbles-level addiction. Hopefully someday we'll all recover and move on and have nice lives with nice people in nice places. But for now, we're talking about the Sixers just barely beating the Charlotte Bobcats at home.

Some bullet points about playing because you're not reading anyway and I barely watched because DO YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY?

• The Sixers are 13 games under .500 and Jrue Holiday played 41 minutes.
• Royal Ivey played 23 minutes.
  
• Lavoy Allen played 14 minutes of 1-point, 1-rebound basketball. Arnett Moultrie did not play a second. Against the Bobcats. On the second night of a back-to-back.
• Jrue played like butt piss for the first three quarters then did some awesome things in the 4th.
• Evan Turner strung two good games together. One time I found a $20 bill in my pocket then my friend gave me a balltap.
• Turner hit a foul shot in the final moments that put the Sixers over the 100-point mark. Big Macs for the fans. The mouth-breathing burger-eaters at the Wells Fargo Center would've burned him alive if he missed it.
• I do not care about Allen Iverson at this point. He needs to go away for a long time.
  
• 9 games left.
• This season is actually a full 4 years long. Weird how they scheduled it that way.
• They play the Bobcats again in like 3 days. What the hell.

The Sixers are now 7-4 in their last 11 games and I will go ahead and take all the blame for that. Feel free to shoot me with guns.