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Have no fear, advocates of tanking. The Sixers lost last night, and it wasn't even close. Our great Sixers Tanking Octopus Overlord Lucy bestowed upon us with her tantalizing tentacles the greatest gift a Sixers fan could ask for. The near 30 point loss came to the merciful Clippers who were playing on the second of a back-to-back.
Instead of a "traditional" recap (we're wayyyyyyyyy past those), let's try a different approach to capture the essence of the Sixers ineptitude. Specifically in the form of... MAD LIBS!
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#1 - A synonym for "destroyed"
#2 - A number lower than 11
#3 - The name of any Sixers player
#4 - A number larger than a billion
#5 - The name of any person
#6 - A number lower than 10
#7 - A synonym for "insane"
#8 - Adjective for "great"
#9 - A number higher than 90
#10 - Dance move
#11 - Verb
OK, done? Don't forget to submit your entries in the comment section.
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The Sixers were [__#1__] by the Clippers last night. Despite a 10-2 run to start the game, the Sixers could never control the lead. This came as no surprise to all [__#2__] Sixers fan(s) watching.
A woeful performance from [__#3__] contributed to the loss. Lob City was just too hard to stop. There were approximately upwards of [__#4__] dunks in the game. Spencer Hawes got dunked on by [__#5__] multiple times.
At an ice cold [__#6__]% from the field, aided by the [__#7__] amount of long 2s the Sixers attempted, the Sixers shot terribly.
Chris Paul was [__#8__] and a big part of why his team won. None of the other Clippers were all that impressive individually but they shot the ball well as a team at [__#9__]%. This was a result of a good shot selection AKA not long 2s.
Former Sixer and now Clipper Maalik Wayns got some playing time and did some things, including a version of the [__#10__]. Watching another former Sixer Willie Green play made Sixers fans want to [__#11__] in their pants."
All said, it was a terrible game to watch. Mercifully, there are only a few handful of games left in the season.
The Sixers have 3 more road games (Nuggets, Kings, Jazz) left on this road trip. They will probably (hopefully?) fare poorly in those games as they are tough match-ups.
Tankadelphia forever.
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