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Sixers vs. Nets Preview: All Aboard the Tankonia Express

The last time the Philadelphia 76ers faced the Brooklyn Nets, they lost by 20 points. If that happens again tonight, it may not be the worst thing in the world.

Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

We're in a weird space right now.

Openly rooting for the Philadelphia 76ers to lose still doesn't feel quite right, yet we all know that the more games the team drops this season, the better their long-term prospects are.

These days, losses don't produce the same anger and vitriol that accompanied them back in December. Now, a defeat is met with little more than a shrug and a mixed bag of emotions that doesn't last much past the post-game show.

Tonight's game is no different. While the Brooklyn Nets are rivals in a sense, a win against them at this point in the season is a relatively meaningless accomplishment. In fact, as long as there is an attempt to develop the skills of Arnett Moultrie (seriously... that's where we are right now), then Sixers-Nets should be considered a victory on some level.

Even if a win was the desired outcome for tonight, the odds of that happening are relatively slim. The last time these two teams met (January 8), the Nets won 109-89 at the Wells Fargo Center, and Reggie Evans had 23 rebounds. That might happen again.

The Sixers are 0-2 vs. the Nets this year, and 2-13 in the second half of back-to-backs. Add in a bit of jet lag after flying home from Orlando, and it appears as if the Tankonia Express will roll on yet again. Choo choo. Choo choo, baby.

We're long past the point of doing traditional game previews, so in the spirit of tanking, here is a song that pretty much sums up the next twenty games.



"Sucking Problem"
(set to the tune of "F**kin' Problem" by A$AP Rocky, Drake, Kendrick Lamar and 2Chainz)

I love a bad team, that's my sucking problem
I want my team to suck, I got a sucking problem
I love a bad team, that's my sucking problem
I want my team to suck, I got a sucking problem
I love a bad team, that's my sucking problem
I want my team to suck, I got a sucking problem
If losing a few games is your team's problem
Just have them play the Sixers, we know they can solve it

[Verse 1]
Hold up, Kwame simmer down
Taking hella long, Jrue give it to me now
Turn over the rock 'cause you do it really fine
Other team fastbreak with the shimmy shimmy ya, huh
ASAP get like me
Never met another brother fresh like me
Only Swaggy P can dress like me
Almost got the win at home, made me sweat like Keith
Cause I'm the Jenkins, the Charles F. Jenkins, like how you figure?
Getting figures and getting minutes, and taking pictures
We need draft riches, Thad in my business, I'm getting bent up off the liquor
Bootleg Web stream, then I click it
They say tanking makes true fans act ignorant
Well I must be into it
Root for a loss 'cause I hate being bored
Turn the first pick into Ben McLemore... beast


[Verse 2]
Ooh, I know you love it when the Heat is on
Make you think about all of the losses we've seen all along
Make me think about all of the picks we been schemin' on
Got a feelin' there's a few rookies Doug's been creepin' on, oh word?
Thought we were good? Who you sleepin' on?
You should print the standings out and have yourself a read-along
It won't be a sing-along 'less you brought McKie along
Then ju.. (Okay, I got it)
Then just... zone out and turn the Eagles on
Or we can turn to NBC and put Michelle Beadle on
The 8th playoff spot? That's not up for a discussion
I will pay to lose bigger, I don't pay for no reduction
If it's comin' from Jay Bilas, then I don't know, I don't trust it
If you comin' for the win, then there won't be any fussin'
Yes Lord... I don't really say this often
But throw games for a draft pick? Now I hear you talkin'... I beast


[Verse 3]
We're... coming up on the finale
Back in August had a Bynum pep rally
Said his knee was good when he first stepped out of Cali
Heart like the Tin Man, all he does is dilly-dally
Got Lavoy getting time, Hawes getting time
The irony, got Moultrie sitting on the damn pine
Doug acting like Arnett don't exist
Good... 'cause I want the first pick
Girl, I'm the tanking czar
If we lose games, we'll end up with a star
That means Ev Turner is not up to par
See my record is padded by losses tomorrow, mmm
Seen them all, Wells Fargo Center all day
Don't get involved, what do the ping-pong balls say
Oladipo? Hallelujah
Holla back, hope he's a shooter... beast




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