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From Tanner's Diary: Experiencing A Sixers Loss Against The Bucks

From time to time, I like to share my innermost thoughts with my favorite readers. Since they're unavailable, I'll share with you guys my experience of the Bucks 94-92 win over the Sixers.

Swag wink
Swag wink

Greetings Diary (often accidentally spelled Dairy),

It's a chilly Wednesday and I couldn't think of anything better to do than watch the Sixers be Sixers and the Bucks try to weasel their way into the lottery (at the expense of the Sixers, natch). I already watched the trailer for Fast and Furious 6 enough times that I could probably be considered an addict at this point. Therefore I'll sacrifice the pleasure I get out of seeing The Rock and Vin Diesel share screen time to sit down, grab a sleeve of Keebler Club Crackers, and (insert word for opposite of enjoy) the Sixers' last trip to Milwaukee for the season. When you have a chance to watch Sammy Dalembert on your TV, you can't pass it up.

7:58 PM: The game tips off in approximately ten minutes and I'm basically wishing it were over already. Not a great way to mentally prepare for this game.

8:03 PM: Eh, there's time for one last glimpse at the Fast 6 trailer. Dom Toretto wasn't hiding.

8:10 PM: Tip-off. Great, I'm locked in. Why do I make such poor decisions?

8:11 PM: Swaggy P must know I'm watching as he gets the game started with the herkiest of jerkiest drives to the basket, finishing with, well, SWAG.

8:12 PM: A shot of the Milwaukee Bucks interim coach Jim Boylan graces the screen. Okay, go ahead and convince me that's not a 59 year old Jim Calhoun. I dare you.

8:14 PM: Our first Sammy Dalembert jumper of the game. He made it, meaning we'll get more.

8:18 PM: I live next door to a huge Syracuse fan. I'm guessing at this point they're losing considering I keep hearing "GOD DAMN IT!" coming through the wall.

8:22 PM: Zumoff just said "Ellis interrupted" which made me wonder about the possibility of "Girl, Interrupted" having a remake centered around Monta. Winona Ryder will again be the lead in the remake.

8:26 PM: Free throws? What are these? Why are the Sixers taking them?

8: 33 PM: End of the first quarter and it's 28-18 in favor of the red shirts. The Sixers shot around 65% and even got to the basket way more than I expected them to early on. Will this continue? Probably not, but it was sure nice to see even a little bit. The defense was also present as the Sixers forced the Bucks to take some tough, contested shots. Yes they got their share of open looks, but nothing too drastic. Sixers up 10 and Nick Young is so on fire and beautiful at the same time.

8:39 PM: The Sixers start the second quarter with trips to the line on the first two possessions. Kinda neat. A Mike Dunleavy three-ball and a bucket from Brandon Jennings keep the Bucks within single digits.

8:43 PM: Arnett Moultrie not looking too shabby out on the floor. It's a good thing the Sixers are looking into Lou Amundson. Why play the guy you traded a future first-round pick for when you could put him in a little airplane dog-cage?


Malik: "I didn't know they were making phone cases for wives."

8:53 PM: Jrue just played some dirty defense on Jennings, first making him lose the ball out of bound quickly followed by a block into his possession. Jrue's success will often be measure with Jennings' because of that draft class. More often than not thus far, Jrue has been won the head-to-heads. How sweet it is.

8:57 PM: With 2:45 left in the quarter, the Sixers' lead has been cut from 10 to only 8. With the way the offense looks this quarter, anyone hoping for a Sixer win should be happy with that.

9:03 PM: Halftime. Sixers up 50-43. Got to see two Sammy D jumpers, Jrue play some great defense on Jennings, Swaggy be swagstastic, and the Sixers get to the hoop/free throw line more than in the past month. It certainly hasn't been as pain inducing as I originally anticipated. Now, time for cereal. I'm thinking Cinnamon Life.

9:06 PM: Tonight's halftime thought: Are there any better examples of the two most mediocre teams over the past decade than these two franchises? We're seeing medocricy at its finest, folks! For the love of God, cherish it!

9:07 PM: Bonus halftime thought: Neil Hartman saying "Swaggy P" is something I wish I never heard. Reminds me of the news anchor from Chappelle's Show.

9:20 PM: Life cereal finished and Marc Zumoff just threw a subtle Larry David "Prettaayyyy prettaaaayyyyy prettay good" reference. That's why I love Zoo.

9:22 PM: Bucks only down 4. Here's to hoping you took the halftime line. Anybody know what it was?

9:25 PM: Evan's arm-raising after driving to the basket efficiency is well over 100%. Malik just called him out on it. Side note, have I mentioned Malik and I are recent best friends? I was at the game against the Pacers (blegh) last week and sat in the section right next to the commentator booth. Malik gave me a couple nice waves throughout the game. And his phone number (he didn't).

9:27 PM: Jennings hits a wide open three off a miss from Mbah a Moute's wide open three miss. The Sixers lead has been cut to one seriously I hope you took the halftime line regardless of what it was we all knew the Sixers would blow that lead it's in their blood like a disease okay I'm done.

9:37 PM: Does every team play some sort of punny "Jump" song when there's a jump-ball? I know the Sixers do the Kris-Kross version and now I learned the Bucks use Van Halen. Does anyone use "Apache"?

9:41 PM: And the oh so obvious Dunleavy floater ties the game up. The Sixers have succesfully Sixers'd this second half.

9:45 PM: 3rd quarter finally ends. The Sixers lucky to be up 3 as Monta had a clean look at a game-tying three after stealing the inbounds away from newest Sixer Jeremy Pargo. I'm sure we'll look back on this game and see them up three and the end of the third and point at the Royal Ivey triple the possession before. Key turning point of the season right there.

9:47 PM: Is the season over yet?

9:50 PM: I have got to learn the uncomfortable Spencer Hawes hook shot for when I play at the local Salvation Army... because that's where that shot belongs. How it snuck it's way into an NBA arena, we'll never know.

9:52 PM: And the Bucks officially take the lead on a Monta baseline runner. Jrue's out of control take the basket lead to a quick outlet by Milwaukee, giving Monta the opportunity to get space near the basket.

9:58 PM: The Sixers are 1/11 from the field in the fourth quarter thus far. "Man I love my team" -- Drake

9:59 PM: Monta Ellis dribbles the ball off Swaggy's foot, retained possession and cashed a runner off the backboard. That's so Sixers.

10:02 PM: Just remembered somebody on the LB Facebook paged used "#CLOWNSHOES" in a comment. I immediately smiled. Then I remembered this game is still happening.

10:05 PM: Down six, Jrue takes the ball inside the paint and gets fouled. It really is quite a concept. He makes one of two.

10:06 PM: "OVERRATED! OVERRATED! Hey man, wanna go buy a Monta Ellis shirsey?!?!" -- Milwaukee bro chanting at Jrue.

10:06 PM: Ellis bricks a pull-up jumper, Hawes gets pushed a little by Dalembert and it isn't called. The way Spencer reacted to the push you would have thought he got hit by an 18-wheeler. Box out strong, Spence.

10:09 PM: A commercial for the McDonald's Shamrock Shake flutters on the television. Is it wrong that the first thing that entered my mind was Ken Shamrock and the ankle lock?

10:11 PM: "Hey Mike, have you seen those 10 4th quarter points from Spencer Hawes" -- Adam Aron

10:12 PM: "Hey Adam, are you seriously doing this right now?" -- Mike Levin

10:15 PM: Evan Turner with an incredible take to the bucket for two, cutting the deficit to one. With a foul to give and shot clock turned off, the Sixers take a whole five seconds to get one. Sixers.

10:17 PM: Ivey gets the foul on Ellis who can make just one of two at the line, Ivey brings it in and the Sixers call a timeout trailing by just a bucket. Down two on the road, I'd look for the easy two first and if it's not there, run Swaggy off a double-screen for a game-winning triple.

10:19 PM: "RIDE OR DIE!!!!" -- Dom Toretto

10:19 PM: Why oh why is Royal Ivey in the game for a final offensive possession? Anybody? ANYBODY?!?!?

10:20 PM: Jrue attempts to stick a mid-range pull-up jumper which goes off the back-iron. With the ball in nobody's possession, players of both squads dive all over the floor like lonely single women fighting over the bouquet at a wedding. It's a jump-bouquet.

10:21 PM: In true Sixer fashion, Jrue wins the tip and gets it to Royal Ivey who immediately throws the ball away. Mbah a Moute tips the ball, saving it from going out of bounds and the clock runs out. The Bucks come away with the 94-92 win.


10:23 PM: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2012-2013 Philadelphia 76ers

10:25 PM: Your final thought of the day: The Sixers haven't won a game in which I wrote about since Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals agains the Celtics.

Well diary, that about does it for our adventures with the #1 and #2 ranked most Sixers teams in the NBA. We shared a laugh, we shared a cry, we even shared a Slim Jim. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go read Dave's Fantasy Camp article. It's the greatest thing ever written.

Love always,


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