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Sixers 94, Nets 130: The Curse of the Broken Toenail

"If that's asking me if I already know the answer, then yes, it is" -- Malik Rose answering if his question was rhetorical.

Textbook dribbling technique
Textbook dribbling technique
Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports

I should have just stayed at work. Actually, in one sentence retrospect, I'm glad I got to witness whatever you'd like to label this game as.

It was 89 seconds into the game when Evan Turner went into the locker with what was described as a "left great toenail bed contusion". I'm not a doctor (but Sohil is) so I'm going to assume that's a Mr. Fancypants way of saying Evan broke the nail on one of his little piggies.

The Sixers were never able to recover from that career-threatening injury and the Nets took full advantage, thrashing the red shirts en route to a 130-94 final.

The pace of this one was set early in the first quarter and carried itself that way for the entirety of the contest. Per usual with the Sixers this season they allowed the opposition to take open threes as they pleased. If six threes in the first quarter doesn't do it for you, I sure hope you stuck around for the third when Joe Johnson not only matched that total himself, but added two more for good measure.

The majority of those three's from Johnson were barely contested, thanks to the terrible rotational defense from Toenail Turner. It's been the complaint of many a Turner critic throughout the season, and Evan didn't disappoint in Brooklyn.

The epitome of these was your cookie-cutter Evan play in the the third quarter. Turner used everything he had to take the ball to the cup and seemingly got fouled. The whistles were silent but Evan was determined to have the officials retroactively call the foul. While he was impolitely discussing his feelings with the referee, the Nets pushed the ball up the floor and Deron Williams hit a wide-open Johnson in the corner for one of his eight threes in that period alone.

Johnson and the Nets completely outmatched the Sixers in every aspect of the game. Stupid fouls? The Sixers fouled a three-point shooter twice, including a four-point play at the end of the third quarter for none other than, you guessed it, Joe Johnson. Add on another foul on a jump shooter and you've got a total of three fouls that should never happen in a basketball game.

You wanted awful rotations? Watching a Sixers game will always give you what you want. The Sixers were getting lost on just about every screen the Nets set, especially for jump shooters. There was no sense of when to switch, when to go under a screen, or over a screen.

Everything the Sixers could have failed at, they did. I felt like I was Rachel Phelps all night, and the Sixers were the Pedro Cerrano led Cleveland Indians. With every bucket the Nets dropped (and there were certainly a ton of them), I found myself grinning and even openly laughing. This is what I expected when the season opened. This is what I prepared myself for. This is what we're getting from here on out.

Some funny things that happened during the game:

  • Thaddeus Young lobbed an inbounds pass to Tony Wroten that ended up right in the hands of Alan Anderson.
  • Brandon Davies got his shot absolutely annihilated by Kevin Garnett. Roy Burton made a joke on Twitter about it.
  • You thought that was it for Davies? Wrong again! Although it wasn't a missed alley-oop he still gave us the obligatory bricked dunk attempt.
  • Up 40 with about a minute and a half remaining, Paul Pierce was still in the game. He was visibly unhappy about that. Welcome to your 60s Paul.
  • If you followed the advice I gave you in the preview post, you made yourself some money tonight.
  • I watched all of this game.
  • I wrote over 600 words about this game.
  • Not funny but in all honesty, Mason Plumlee had an awesome up and under dunk late in the fourth quarter. Kid throws it down hard and will be a pretty solid player for many years to come.

Remember that post from Mike earlier today with the t-shirt contest? Well we've got the results for you! First off, the answers to the questions were 94 (Sixers points) - 8 (Evan Turner misses) - No (Brandon Davies alley-oop attempt). The lucky winners who guessed all three answers 100% correctly are:

MBS214 and Robobob - if you guys are reading, make sure you send an e-mail to Mr. Levin (michael.levin17@gmail.com) with your information.

We had some runner-ups as well which were Ben16 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!), MJK5200, JBIL, and SwagyMcG. If the two winners do not respond to make by tomorrow, you guys will be next in line so hang tight.

Thanks for participating and we hope to have some more of these down the road.

But until that time, there's one team we can root for to actually win this season and they're the Allentown YMCA fan favorite High Rollers who advanced to the league championship tonight. Head on down to 15th street on Wednesday to check them out.

Three whole days off until the Sixers are back in action when they return home to face these very same Nets. Who's ready for more fun?

Check out NetsDaily if you're in to that sort of thing.

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