Sixers at Pistons Preview: Injured Bynum Redux

Guys, I've got a confession to make. The Detroit Pistons are really not all that interesting. I was ready to just turn this preview into a thread of Chauncey Billups jokes, about how he gives you all the self-awareness and ego of Kobe Bryant with the talent of Derek Fisher. About how he's so old Billy Joel named "Big Shot" after him. But he's got knee tendinitis--because he's almost twice as old as Nerlens Noel, so I guess your knees fall apart by that age. I wouldn't know, because I'm not old enough to remember the Iran hostage crisis.

But anyway, he's not playing. Neither is Will Bynum, who is not related to the Cavaliers' center, but whose legs are failing him just the same. That leaves the Pistons somewhat short of backcourt depth, as evidenced by the presence of Peyton Siva in the rotation.

This will be Sixers fans' first look at Siva, who was famous for being more annoying than any other ten college basketball players put together. This team has Kyle Singler on it and Singler isn't the most annoying college player we're likely to see this afternoon. It boggles the mind.

What also boggles the mind is the sheer number of missed shots we're likely to see. Detroit boasts a rotation of misfiring chuckers that rivals even the Sixers' lineup. Josh Smith, Brandon Jennings and Charlie Villanueva--all famous for having absolutely no idea where their jump-shooting range ends. At least Andre Drummond has the presence of mind to know that he doesn't have a shooting range at all, because while he's shooting 63.6 percent from the floor this season, he's only shooting 28.6 percent from the line. Put that together with the jump-shooting adventures of Michael Carter-Williams and Tony Wroten, and we might be looking at a game that results in fewer made baskets than a closed-down Longaberger factory. Spencer Hawes only played 25 minutes on Friday after missing two games with injury, but if he's back, the way these two teams shoot and the way the Sixers like to press the tempo, we could be looking at 20, maybe 25 rebounds for Jumbo Rand Paul today.

Tank on.