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Liberty Ballers Members Mock Draft

By @BrandonGowton on Jun 27, 2012, 12:12am EDT 48


Hello and welcome to the one and only Liberty Ballers Mock Draft!

WARNING: This isn't your typical mock draft. Instead of a BORING mock featuring actual NBA prospects, is a YOUNG AND EXCITING mock LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This mock draft features actual LB commenters/members along with EXCLUSIVE scouting reports, BEST CASE / WORST CASE comparisons, BULLETED LISTS of STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES, RANDOMLY (or at least that's what they tell me) HYPERLINKED words, AND EVEN MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[Before you click the jump (wait, you're telling me you already did? YOU SONOVAB----) I'd like to explain something. As you may or may have not noticed, I have mentioned before that I am putting a special project together for LB once the NBA season was over. For those of you who doubted I would keep my promise, you would be wise to never forget a Lannister always pays his debts. This special project will provide as -a series of nonsense fluff pieces- quality summer reading during the dead time in the off-season. I have decided this project will be done in multiple phases... so congratulations! This is phase one. Hope you enjoy!]

TIME TO JUMP

... if you dare ...

DISCLAIMER: The order that the LB commenters appear in was determined by a random generator and is in no way fixed, despite rumors that the Illuminati were involved. Also: material written in this post is meant to be for fun... I'm not trying to offend any of you on purpose. (AS FAR AS YOU KNOW)

With the first overall pick in the 2012 LB Mock Draft, the New Orleans Hornets select...

DEREK BODNER!

#1 - NEW ORLEANS HORNETS - Derek Bodner


Best Case: Derek Jeter

Worst Case: Derek from Step Brothers

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

The Hornets get a difference maker from day one in Derek Bodner. His cool, calm, and collected manner will be an asset to this struggling team. His analytical prowess and scouting talents will serve to improve New Orleans' front office, which just proves that he's a one of a kind prospect. Versatile off the charts! Hidden powers! Router RIP, son!

#2 - CHARLOTTE BOBCATS - yosoysean

Best Case: Sean Connery

Worst Case: Shawn Green

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

The Bobcats suck. But now they can suck in style with this new addition! Yosoysean brings important an important veteran beard presence to this abysmal team. Some may seem debt as a concern with this prospect, but the fact that he's from the great county of Bucks more than makes up for that. His anti-alcoholism will ensure he doesn't jeopardize the team with any terrible drunken photos of himself.

#3 - WASHINGTON WIZARDS - Justin F.

Best Case: Justin Verlander

Worst Case: Justin Beiber

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Possibly the first "shocker" in this mock. Justin F is a boom or BUST!!!!! prospect that we haven't seen enough out of yet to know for sure how he'll perform in the pros. But it's the Wizard, so... lololol (PS: Sorry Justin)

#4 - CLEVELAND CAVALIERS - Ben16

Best Case: Breaking Benjamin

Worst Case: Ben10

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

  • TRADER TO ARE CITY
  • Illegal streams

Despite what you may say, Zumoff, there is nothing CAVALIER about this pick. Ben hails from the great city of Harrisburg, which is also where stud RB LeSean "Shady" McCoy (<3333333333333) is from. This, along with his outstanding loyal to LB, makes him a top prospect. The only thing that brings him down is that he wants to escape to the West Coast.

#5 - SACRAMENTO KINGS - jefu

Best Case: Jefferson Airplane

Worst Case: Jeff Foxworthy

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

  • Lover of LeQuan Glover
  • A small fishing boat
  • FLORIDA

jefu is a good value pick here for the Kings. His Master-y in teaching will make the Kings a smarter team. Yet another veteran presence. Love of LQ scares teams that value transition points away from this prospect.

#6 - PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS - RickoT

Best Case: Ricko

Worst Case: Ricko

Strengths:

  • Ricko

Weaknesses:

  • Ricko

Ricko! (<3)

#7 - GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS - Tanner Steidel

Best Case: Danny Tanner Tanner Johnson (son of Randy Johnson)

Worst Case: 13668 Tanner

Strengths:

  • Full House
  • Paul George
  • Shoe knowledge
  • Taco Clouds

Weaknesses:

  • HR
  • THE SIXERS ALWAYS LOSE WHEN HE POSTS THE GAMETHREAD*

*(Possibly a good thing if they're tanking).

Tanner fits the GSW very well. Shoe stylin', pop culture references, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, etc, etc, etc.

#8 - TORONTO RAPTORS - soman319

Best Case: Sohil

Worst Case: Sohail

Strengths:

  • Awkward tension
  • Rutgers
  • Intelligent
  • GYM GRIND
  • Coolest member of LB (disputed)

Weaknesses:

  • Insomnia
  • Awkward tension
  • WORDY

Sohil is the friendly face the Raptors need and love up in the Great White North.

#9 - DETROIT PISTONS - KJ Brophy

Best Case: Kenny McCormick

Worst Case: Kenny Chesney

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Former LEGEND Kenny will bring his passionate love of the Oregon Ducks and WWE to Detroit, for better or for worse.

#10 - NEW ORLEANS - dweebowitz

Best Case: Stuart Little

Worst Case: Stuart Scott

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

  • Spencer Hawes
  • LeQuan Glover
  • Overcooked cauliflower

How did dweeb fall this far? Never mind that now - he'll really help New Orleans keep pesky kids off his lawn!

#11 - PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS - TwistyWristy

Best Case: Sheldon Brown

Worst Case: Sheldon Cooper

Strengths:

  • Remixing songs
  • Writing pseudocode
  • All-Defensive playground blacktop team
  • Being successful

Weaknesses:

TW's defensive skill set is bar none. Good pick here.

#12 - MILWAUKEE BUCKS - Michael Levin

Best Case: Michael Scott

Worst Case: Michael McDonald

Strengths:

  • Talent Agency Extraordinaire
  • Poop
  • Naps
  • TAFKAMB

Weaknesses:

  • Speezy
  • THE BOSS
  • Low usage rate
  • Peanut allergy
  • Mediocrity

RISKY PICK! High potential, but will he ever reach it? Poop jokes aplenty either way!

#13 - PHOENIX SUNS - Jordan Sams

Best Case: Michael Jordan

Worst Case: Jordan Sparks

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

  • Dallas Cowboys fan
  • Fan of the Cowboys
  • Cowboys
  • Dallas
  • Dallas Cowboys
  • Cowboys Dallas
  • Tony Romo
  • The Houston Astros
  • Did I mention the Cowboys?
  • Cowboys

Jordan is yet another steal in this draft. Too bad he's a Cowboys fan! (booing ensues)

#14 - HOUSTON ASTROS - Dave Rueter

Best Case: Dave Matthews Band

Worst Case: Dave and Busters

Strengths:

  • Nostalgia
  • Neshaminy Mall

Weaknesses:

  • Boston
  • OWES ME MONEY

SCREW THE ANALYSIS - I want my $5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#15 - PHILADELPHIA

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76ERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Sixers select PhiladelphiaEagles!!!

::To continue reading this article you must be an Insider::

To become an Insider, please arrange a payment of eleventy billion dollars with PE via his twitter handle.

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(To those of you who didn't make the cut, I sincerely apologize. There are many amazing LBers that deserved to be in this mock, but were left off due to time constraints on my part. Sorry once again!)

Do you agree with the picks? Are the scouting reports accurate?! Could you do them better??!! Can this punctuation get any more excessive?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? NO!!?!??!?!??!!??!?!?!!!?!!????!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!??!?!? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Thanks for reading! Leave your thoughts in the comments!

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Grade this mock:

  • 100% A+ (37 votes)

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