Sixers vs. Bulls: Pre-Game Player Updates

You're probably still sleeping, but we've got a game to play (watch/blog about) so consider this your morning rooster. The Sixers and Bulls lace 'em up for what could be a devastating loss for Chicago or a series-evening win for the Bulls. In the history of the playoffs, there has never NOT been a must-win game. And this baby carries plenty of implications with it. News just broke that Joakim Noah will DEFINITELY OFFICIALLY ETCETERA not be playing tonight. It's hard to play basketball in a walking boot, I've read.

So since we only had one day rather than two to bombard you between games, I'm going to have to jam all this in right now. Here's an update on every Sixers player heading into Game Four.

Andre Iguodala - Achilles hurting, watched Kate & Leopold again last night -- calms him down.

Evan Turner - Getting massages, just found out the difference between Iceland and Greenland.

Jrue Holiday - Has been wondering when the new Mumford and Sons album is coming out.

Spencer Hawes - Fileted a fish for dinner last night but threw it away when he realized the fish was a Democrat.

Elton Brand - Plucked his eyebrows last night claiming "gotta look good for ABC" as his reason.

Louis Williams - Really wants to buy another dog but doesn't know where he'll be playing next season and doesn't want to confuse the dog with multiple homes right off the bat.

Thaddeus Young - Seriously can't get "Call Me, Maybe" out of his head.

Willie Green - Still not on the Sixers. :)

Jodie Meeks - Wearing new sneaks, eating tons of Orestes's vegetables in hopes that will net him more playing time.

Sam Young - Was mentioned more times in last night's Grizzlies/Clippers game than in this series altogether.

Lavoy Allen - Finally finished The Corrections last night. That Jonathan Franzen sure is cray.

Nikola Vucevic - Recorded a blues album called "The Rookie Wall".

Craig Brackins - Literally has no idea where he is right now.

Tony Battie - Found out what Pilates are yesterday.

Xavier Silas - Was told he gives the best kisses, was not by his mother.

And now you're caught up! Anybody else have some Sixers player updates that I missed in all the commotion?