Sixers vs. Bulls: Game 3 Player Intros

I read this fascinating article at lunchtime about player intros. But instead of linking to it, I've decided to copy it in full. We know how much you love player intros.

You're welcome.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble? Sixers Announce Plans for Game 3 Introductions

by: T. Pettengill

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...

"Oh my - is it? Is it? It is! It's Spencer Hawes! He's charging through Section 112! Look at those red, white, and blue tassels!"

Once just the climax in a Spencer Hawes fan fiction novel; the above scenario may soon be a reality. The long-anticipated introduction plans for Friday's Game 3 between the Sixers and the Chicago Bulls were announced this morning. Inspired by the World Wrestling Entertainment's annual Pay-Per-View, the Royal Rumble, the Sixers Marketing Department released the following statement this morning:

The 76ers organization has always prided itself on being innovators in the ultimate fan experience arena. And with the Sixers hosting the Chicago Bulls in a pivotal Game 3 match-up Friday, we are pleased to announce a partnership - or a tag team in this case - with the World Wrestling Entertainment.

Adapted from the WWE's popular Royal Rumble event, the 76ers organization will forgo the standard player introductions, and instead, announce one player every two minutes. The order of the players' entrances will be randomly chosen through a lottery selection supervised by NBA's Executive Vice President, Stu Jackson.

Monitored by security, players will be escorted to the court from a different section in the arena. We believe this groundbreaking fan experience will further connect the city of Philadelphia with the basketball team it loves.

Due to the elongated introductions, subsequent fireworks, and additional security provisions, tip-off is scheduled for 9:42 P.M.

The idea is the brain child of Sixers' CEO, Adam Aron, and rumble fever has quickly spread throughout the entire origination. Sixers broadcast journalist, Malik Rose, has demanded that team employees and fans refer to him as "The Brain" until the completion of the NBA playoffs.

"I'm sick and tired of all these humanoids on Twitter telling me what the line-up should be," said The Brain. "'Hey, uh, Brain, I, uh, der, think that Doug, uh, der, should go small, LOL. Can I get a retweet?' I've seen more sense between my couch cushions."

"We're thrilled with the Sixers' partnership with the World Wrestling Entertainment!" said Aron. "The Sixers are indeed ready to rumble, and not the Ready to Rumble with David Arquette and the guy who played the wide receiver in Varsity Blues. We're really ready to rumble!"

The unique player introductions haven't been embraced by everyone, however.

"So, what, they like, announce my name, but I don't know when?" asked a confused Kyle Korver. "And then what? What if I'm first? I need to wait another forty-six minutes for the rest of the guys? I just stand there on the court? Do I get a stool or something? I don't get it."

To commemorate this exciting event, former WWE stars, Bob Holly, Steve Blackman, and Virgil will be signing autographs in the concourse level before tip-off.

Game 3 of the Sixers vs. Bulls can be seen on ESPN2.