What We Can Learn From Celtics Game Three Win Over Sixers

To answer my question from the title: nothing. Absolutely nothing. The opposite of something: it's nothing. The Celtics and Sixers met for coffee last night. Boston brought a briefcase with them. The Sixers brought a paperclip. About a quarter into the conversation, the Celtics laid the briefcase on the table, unlocked the flaps, and opened up a can of whoop-ass all over the Sixers and their paperclip. It lasted 48 minutes.

There was nothing new in last night's game. Not a single thing. Evidence:

- We knew Spencer Hawes sucked.

- We knew the Sixers haven't had a shot in hell at covering Kevin Garnett with their current strategy.

- We knew Paul Pierce would eventually do something.

- We knew Thaddeus Young would eventually do something, though we also knew that he is not a good rebounder or defender.

- We knew Evan Turner sometimes has those games where he looks like a dildo on offense.

- We knew that the Sixers aren't a very good basketball team. In our heart of hearts, we knew that.

- Seriously, Hawes. Like -- come on. Anybody?

I consider this game a rousing success due to Xavier Silas' first playoff basket. I am hereby tuning out anything else that happened. Wednesday Night Sixers were in full effect and I'm putting the game under protest from the league. The Celtics simply shouldn't be allowed to take that many wide open jump shots.

Write that one off. It's one game, and it was a much less stressful game than the past 3 the Sixers have played. I tuned this puppy out a few minutes into the second half. Both the Sixers and I were on cruise control by that point.

Basically, don't put too much stock into this one. With a revenge win on Friday, the Sixers would even up the series 2-2. That's fine. Deep breaths and move on. Here's a picture to calm you down. Feel better?