Sixers Vs. Bulls: Vilifying Chicago Starting Now

Guys, I've heard you. I'm listening to your thoughts. And I know what you're thinking. You want reasons to hate the Chicago Bulls. You feel bad that Derrick Rose tore his ACL and won't be playing until mid-next season. You want the Sixers to win (maybe) but at the cost of Chicago's integrity. You want to be bitter and spiteful. Well, I got your back.

Here's a list of all the bad things about the Bulls's players that will surely make you hate them.

Luol Deng - One time he went on a date with Zooey Deschanel and never called her back.

Carlos Boozer - He drank all the beer at your favorite bar on St. Patrick's Day and nobody could get drunk.

Joakim Noah - He whomps.

Richard Hamilton - I've seen him punt babies. Blind babies.

Kyle Korver - He HATES Punk'd.

Omer Asik - His actual name is spelled "Omar" but got tired of people saying "Omar's coming" and changed it.

Taj Gibson - He's raised taxes on his people twice this year. He fights in tournaments while his people starve!

C.J. Watson - C.J. Watson never farts.

John Lucas III - He says "legit" way too often.

Ronnie Brewer - He thinks the Geico commercials are still funny.

Brian Scalabrine - There is no reason to hate Brian Scalabrine.

So there you go. Now you'll be ready for Game Two. May your obscenities be filled with anger and voraciousness.