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Toastioni: Sixers Buy Out Andres Nocioni's Contract

The writing was on the wall. Sam Young was brought in to back up Andre Iguodala and Evan Turner, leaving absolutely no role and nowhere for Andres Nocioni to sit at team dinners. The team no longer needed the things Noce brought to the table. Doug Collins would call them "experience", "hustle", and "toughness", but what they really were was "no lateral quickness", "a non-existent jumpshot", and "turnovers off his knee".

Thus, it is with a tinge of sadness that we report via Dei Lynam that the Sixers have bought out Nocioni's contract, allowing him to go find a job elsewhere the rest of the season. Maybe he'll be the tennis instructor at a country club a la Paul Bettany - who knows. My bet is that he goes to Europe and hangs out with some of his friends whose names also end in vowels.

We're somewhat sad to see Noce go, especially since he's fun to write about and his loyal fan(s) made it enjoyable for him to get playing time. The exception of course being that time this year that he started at power forward. That wasn't any fun at all. Talk of a vacant roster spot is sure to come, but for now, let us mourn the career of Noce as a Sixer. His parting just makes me miss Dong even more...

And now we've come to the point you've all been waiting for, where the picture that has been sitting on my desktop for the better part of two years gets revealed. It was a photoshopping done by our good friend Pat, AKA NoceOne, who sent this to me via email after months of painstaking cropping and shading. It is, without doubt, the most subtle, moving, transcendental picture of Andres Nocioni on the entire internet. I ask you to click ahead to the jump for the most over-hyped picture in the history of the world. Toastioni.

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