Today marks the first day of All-Star Weekend 2012. The main entree of the first night is the BBVA Rising Stars Challenge, formerly known as the Rookie/Sophomore Challenge, formerly known as the Schick Rookie Game, formerly known as Michael Bourn. Preceding this event at 7:00 on ESPN is the annual celebrity game. While it isn't quite as sexy as the Rising Rookie Schick Bourn game, it's always one of my favorites because it reminds me that there are things in this world I'm better at than the very rich, famous people participating.
Dwight Howard and Kevin Durant will be coaching the two squads this year. Some standout names that will be participating tomorrow are rappers J Cole and Common, comedian Kevin Hart, singer/actor Ne-Yo, and Leon from "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (aka JB Smoove - you gotta recharge the Mitzvah). If you want to check out the full rosters, be my guest.
Not everybody knows this, but before Durant and Howard were asked to coach the teams, Commissioner David Stern asked the crew at Liberty Ballers to put together a team to go against a team hand-picked by Scott Schroeder. Stern must have thought our roster was far too good as he shut us down as soon as we submitted our starting lineup.
What was this glorious, unbeatable lineup? I'm glad you asked. Check out our dream roster after the jump.
SG: James Lafferty
Cera is our rock, our composure guy. There's no denying that there are few options better to run your celebrity team than with a guy known as "Mr. Manager". Anybody with that name has the ability to keep teammates, employees, and bananas in check.
While James Lafferty may not be a household name, he dominated at Tree Hill High and became an All-American at the University of Maryland. Although he's not tall, he somehow was able to throw it down with the best of them, even as a sophomore in high school. He's definitely this team's go-to scorer.
I love Drake. That's why I want him on there. Zero basketball reasons, although I'm told it makes basketball sense. Maybe he could sweet talk his way past defenders? Not to mention he also has fake basketball experience when he portrayed basketball star Jimmy Brooks on Jordan's favorite show, Degrassi.
No DMX also isn't very tall, but he's got that Reggie Evans quality that he'll do anything to get the ball. Yes he doesn't particularly like Drake and chances are he'd get arrested midway through the first quarter, but his barking ability alone makes him a valuable asset for this team.
Why Giant Gonzalez? Let's put it this way; would you want to take it to the basket against an alleged 8-footer who wears a 80% naked, hairy suit? I didn't think so. Yes, he may have died a year and half ago, but we're determined to get him on our roster.
If that starting lineup isn't destined to win every championship ever created, I'm not sure any team could. Unfortunately, we were never given time to come up with our version of the Night Shift, so we're leaving it up to you guys. Give us your best suggestions on who should be so honored to come off the bench and wear the silk footie pajamas that are our uniforms.