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It's been an interesting season thus far but it feels like we're hitting somewhat of a pre-holiday lull. Looking for something special to buy your loved one? Look no further than this 2500 page book! I'm telling you, it's a steal. I bought it for my aunt. She hasn't put it down! She actually got a divorce because she was so excited about this book.
Here's the chapter list!
How To Talk About The Sixers And Not Mention Andrew Bynum:
-- Refer to Andrew Bynum as Alastor Sheepdog. With context clues, they should get it.
-- Dazzle your audience with the spelling of "J-R-U-E"
-- Every time you want to say Bynum's name, just propel yourself into a cinder block wall .
-- "Hey that Spencer Hawes sure is Republican, ain't he?"
-- Pretend Bynum is a very close member of your family who got abducted by aliens and has been presumed dead. Any mention of him causes intense awkwardness.
-- Reflect on the foul shooting technique of Anthony Mason.
-- Ask Greg Oden to please stop showing up in your house unannounced.
-- Beat your houseguests with fake knees upon arrival.
-- Never go bowling. On Shabbas or otherwise.
-- Try convincing your cousin that signing Kwame Brown was a good idea.
-- Start purchasing Utah Flash gear, forgetting they're likely going to become the Lehigh Valley Kumquats.
-- Tell everyone it's really Dominique Wilkins on the bench.
-- Do not talk about the Sixers.
BUY BUY BUY AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA CAPITALISM CAPITALISM ADAM SMITH
(unrelated: go see this movie)