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Sixers Christmas List For Santa

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If we can just get a time machine instead, you can ignore the rest of this post.

Rakeem, not Dionte, Christmas.
Rakeem, not Dionte, Christmas.
Mike Stobe

Christmas is over. The Sixers are 14-15. As a Jew, I'm immune to all the greeting card hullabaloo that goes into Christmas and all that. I know the real deal with Santa Claus, okay? I know that Santa can't answer the calls of local NBA bloggers until AFTER he delivers to all kids around the globe. Blogger Christmas is whenever Santa can get to our basements in between Christmas and New Year's.

We know what we need. It rhymes with "Jandrew Gynum Petting Kealthy" and it probably doesn't fit into a box. Then we need a "Bontract Lextension", which will run you at least $15 Mil a year. Santa, if you can swing it, that is gifts one through a billion.

But if we need a backup list, here are five suggestions. Add yours in the comments.

-- A Spencer Hawes trade for an expiring contract. While Spence played a heckuva game against Memphis, he's on the books for $6.5M of usually poor bench play next year. Moving him would clear space to offer Jandrew as much as it takes to keep him and stay under the cap. It would also open up time for Arnett Moultrie.

-- Can Kwame Brown opt out? LOL I know, I know. You're Santa. Not Jesus.

-- Please let Dorell Wright continue to hit threes. Same for Evan Turner. That's the best.

-- Don't let them reboot the Harry Potter series so quickly. I'm worried it's going to happen sooner than anyone would like. Just push it back a few more years, please.

-- HEALTHY JRUE, HEALTHY EVAN.