Kwame Brown Has A Reputation Of Being Kwame Brown

I'm not Kwame Brown and I've never been Kwame Brown so I don't know anything about what it's like to be Kwame Brown. One guy who does, though, is Kwame Brown. And eleven years after he was selected with the first overall pick, Doug Collins would appreciate it if You The Viewer respected that.

Kwame has not been good in the 9 games he's played. He's big and immobile enough that you can't really get by him in the post, thus making him a solid post defender, but that's not enough to make me join the Kwame Brown fan club and stab myself with Kwame's face on a pin.

Jrue Holiday said that Kwame is quicker than people give him credit for. I partly agree, because in my mind he hasn't actually done so much as blown his nose since he got to Philly. Kwame has the highest gravitational pull of any human I've ever seen play basketball. There's a Space Jam-sized magnet underneath him at all times, yanking him to the floor. Nobody falls harder than Kwame. That's about as quick as he gets.

Offensively, Doug doesn't care about Brown scoring points. And I get that to an extent. But when he's sporting a TS% of 46.2 and only shooting 50% on attempts AT THE RIM (by the way, he's a 7-foot person) while doing Anthony Mason impressions at the foul line, that's not "Not Scoring", that's being a liability. Being remotely average at one thing doesn't make up for the rest.

Collins: "We didn’t get him because he was the top pick in the draft. We got him because he’s a tremendous low-post defender. We need him. We need him and Lavoy Allen. That’s the only size we have."

Spencer Hawes is currently in the corner sobbing into his American flag bandana. The irony is Hawes has been worlds better than Kwame and Lavoy on the glass this season. Not low post defense -- dear god not low post defense -- but Spence doesn't struggle on the defensive glass the way people say he does.

Doug so deserves this frontcourt after fishing his wish with a pre-Bynum tandem of Kwame and Spencer. Unfortunately we must suffer as he suffers. In the less-than-five-minutes of court time the two of them played together, the Sixers are 9 points in the red. KWAMESPENCER lives.

If Doug wanted Sixers fans to not boo Kwame Brown, he probably should have not signed Kwame Brown.

Anyway, please be nice to Kwame because he's only making $3 million this season and Doug gets sad when you boo him for falling on his ass.