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The Great Andrew Bynum Knee Lubricant Conundrum of 2012

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Of all the knee lubricant conundrums, this is the best.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

As more information comes out about the procedures Andrew Bynum is having done to his dry knees, Sixers fans are left worrying and speculating and jumping to conclusions. It's not that we're doctors and have expert opinions on what's going on with his body -- it's like our daughter went out to a party and isn't answering her cell phone. Naturally, we're a hot mess.

Presuming Andrew isn't playing 7 Minutes in Heaven with the captain of the football team, we can assume he will be ready to play basketball at some point this season. We don't know if what the team is telling us is true or BS and we don't know if what the beats are telling us is accurate or conjecture. We don't know anything, really.

So with that knowledge (nothing), I hereby decree that I wish new Sixers center Andrew Evelyn Bynum to sit for half of the season.

Well. Sort of.

If he's perfectly healthy now, obviously he should play. But all indications are pointing to the direction that he's not and that scares me to death. (Don't drink until prom night Drew!) The Bynum trade was not made for just one season. It was to make him a Sixer for life. And I intend on seeing that through to completion. A frequently injured Bynum that plays on October 31st is much, much worse than half a season of Bynum this year and five cleaner years after this one. I do not particularly care about wins and losses this season. I do care about chemistry and seeing how Jrue Holiday and Evan Turner perform with a legitimate big man, but nearly as much as how necessary a completely healthy Bynum is to the success of this team in the long run.

if you've read the blog with any regularity, you'll know my obsession with the future health and dominance of one Greg Oden. I do not want this big man to go the way of that big man. I want to take all the necessary precautions for Bynum and his very important knees. I do not want to rush him back. I'll repeat: I do not want to rush him back. I don't care about an October 24th return. He's got a five-year max contract waiting for him.

I know he's the shiny new toy we got for that worthless turd/all-time great Andre Iguodala (depending on your position), but he'll still be shiny in a few months when he's ready. Maybe even shinier if he keeps getting lubed up by doctors. I just want him to be healthy for a long time. And I'll happily sacrifice 40 or so games of 2012 to assure that happens.