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129 NBA Free Agents And Their Chances of Becoming Philadelphia 76ers, Part One

It's been a while since NBA basketball was played, so I won't blame you for a few things slipping your mind. Por ejemplo, who is actually on the Sixers this season. There are 9 guys with guaranteed contracts and forgotten rookie Nikola Vucevic will sign as well, leaving a few spots open even with the qualifying offers out to Spencer Hawes (he'll accept) and Thaddeus Young (look for a long, frustrating article about him in the coming week or two).

Aside from hometown cheerleader Lavoy Allen, who figures to get a mini deal after what I anticipate being a middling camp appearance, nobody has a claim staked to the treasured final few positions, which means Rod Thorn and company will address the end of the bench with that flighty temptress, free agency. Thankfully, Liberty Ballers has the support of the SB Nation network behind us, and Tom Ziller has laid out the 129 available and semi-available people for us to pick from.

After the jump, I weigh in on who jumps out to me, who makes the dreaded basketball sense, and who I forgot was still in the league.

Per Ziller, the asterisks indicate an overseas contract that could inhibit their return to the homeland.

Aaron Brooks*, PHO - Though backup point guard is a need, he's an RFA still hoping for a starting gig somewhere and will cost too much. Plus I had the Quarterback version of him on my 2005 Fantasy Football team and he completely cost me the league.

Aaron Gray, NOH - Got outplayed by Jason Smith last year.

Acie Law, GSW - Would only sign him so I could unabashedly play clips from the 3OT showdown between Texas/A&M with he and Kevin Durant going berserk. Actually, I do that anyway. Double actually, he may not be a terrible sign though his point guard skills are not exactly skill-like.

It's at this time I realize how long this is going to take and decide to break it up into two parts. Three cheers for after-the-fact editing!

Al Thornton, GSW - Most Sixers fans remember him as Not Thaddeus Young. Pass.

Alexis Ajinca, TOR - Totally a guy I'd roll the dice on. Won't pan out but young and French and full of unrealized potential, youth, and sprightliness. Would love to see he and Craig Brackins perform the YMCA due to their exceedingly long arms.

Andrei Kirilenko*, UTA - He hasn't been AK-47 in at least four years. Will be interested to see how much he'll get on the market but it won't be here.

Anthony Carter, NYK - The backupiest backup point guard there ever was. It makes too much sense for him to sign here and become Doug Overton. I'd officially be surprised if he's not a Sixer.

Anthony Parker, CLE - Yay Israel! He'd make Jodie Meeks redundant and probably wants the MLE. Won't get it here.

Antonio Daniels, PHI - He may have played 15 seconds with us last season but his signing was the most exciting thing I remember from 2010. Is that bad?

Arron Afflalo, DEN - I don't really know anything about the situation but I can't imagine he'd leave Denver. If Iguodala wasn't around, I'd go waist deep in trying to get him - he'd look great next to Evan Turner and fellow Bruin Jrue Holiday. He's an RFA - he'll stay a Nug.

Ben Uzoh, NJ - Don't see him sticking anywhere. Not enough upside for me to care. He's probably friends with Jerome Jordan though.

Brandan Wright, NJ - If I had access to a paper and pen, I'd write a letter to the Sixers FO pleading for them to sign Brandan Wright, then force him to lose the last name and just go by "Brandan". I'll forever be waiting on him to realize his potential, but with 'Dan, I don't mind spending every day out on his corner in the pouring rain, etc etc.

Brian Cardinal, DAL - Directing all questions to Scott Schroeder.

Brian Scalabrine, CHI - It's gotten to the point where you're a hipster if you DON'T want him on your team.

Carl Landry, NOH - We didn't draft him or his brother Marcus but we did draft Herbert Hill a few years back and that may be close enough. He'll end up getting signed for more than he's worth, Kenny Thomas style.

Carlos Arroyo, BOS - Without checking, I think he's played for every Atlantic Division team but the Sixers. Keeping it that way.

Caron Butler, DAL - Wanted his expiring for Iguodala last season but no dice. I'm guessing his career goes the way of Jamaal Mashburn from here on out, who I'm still waiting to see play his first game as a Sixer.

Chris Quinn, SA - I've never been less ambivalent.

Chris Wilcox, DET - Not Lonny Baxter was good in Seattle and noplace else. There's a strong likelihood that he's never stopped being a Supersonic. Wouldn't mind a flyer on him if it was for the minimum.

Chuck Hayes, HOU - He's going to want a lot of money and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because he's the second coming of Glen Davis before Glen Davis has fully came. Hm.

Craig Smith, LAC - Too hybridy. Fitting for LA, though.

D.J. Mbenga, NOH - I'd offer the max. We need more Mb's!

Daequan Cook, OKC - His role evaporated when James Harden and Thabo Sefolosha ousted him from the rotation. The dude we traded for Jason Smith on draft night 2007 could land back with Miami. They like shooters there.

DaJuan Summers, DET - Really thought he'd be better. He's not.

Damien Wilkins, ATL - Stay in Atlanta, simply for the novelty.

Dan Gadzuric, NJ - Seems like he's 74 years old but he's probably only about half that and would serve as a significant upgrade over The Closer himself, Tony Battie, as backup big man.

Dante Cunningham, CHA - Classy guy, minimal NBA game. Hope he sticks somewhere, won't be here.

Darius Songaila, PHI - Pours one out for our homies.

Darnell Jackson*, SAC - Would rather go high-upside than grit.

David West, NOH - Our friend Rohan once told me that he may be the worst rebounder in the league, despite having all the tools to be dirty. He's coming off a bunch of odd ailments and I'm confident he's not the difference maker this team would need. Plus, major logjam at the 4.

DeAndre Jordan, LAC - I'd offer him everything. He's got legitimate Top 10 center upside and it remains to be seen how much the Clip Joint are willing to commit to their front court with Mr. Blake Griffin already anchored in. He'd be significantly more valuable than Thad or Spencer for me. Could be worth the fat offer sheet - worth monitoring but file this in the pipedreams folder.

Delonte West, NOH - I didn't even like him at St. Joe's.

Derrick Brown, NY - Would love him though he's restricted. Crafty lefty with tons of explosiveness and a decent feel for the game - I think he could come in and do what Thad does for about one-eighth the price. No outside shot. Perfect!

DeShawn Stevenson, DAL - Couldn't want him any less.

Dominic McGuire, CHA - I'm fairly confident I've never watched him play. Fresno State though, so there's a Paul George connection to think about.

Earl Boykins, MIL - Aww.

Earl Clark, ORL - Hasn't shown anything at all in the pros but I'd take a chance on him, stash him in the D-League for as long as we're allowed, and hope it clicks.

Earl Watson, UTA - If he's 6'1, then I'm Godzilla.

Erick Dampier, MIA - He and Adonal Foyle need to rent a cabin together and film their experience on the travel channel already. it's been long enough, guys.

Etan Thomas, ATL - Serviceable backup big. Nothing to say.

Francisco Elson, UTA - WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?

Garrett Temple, CHA - I had some irrational love for him at LSU. He's kind of a poor man's James Harden. I guess that's Kyle Weaver. Somewhere in between maybe?

Gary Forbes, DEN - Had a few huge games if I recall. And I think the Sixers tried him out a few years back. Nothing doing.

Glen Davis, BOS - Nah.

Grant Hill, PHO - Please, sign more aging wings.

Greg Oden, POR - You know how I feel about him. If you don't, learn here. He is simultaneously everything and nothing. If we bet on everything long enough, it's bound to pay off, right?!

Hamady N'diaye, WAS - See Mbenga D.J. Though I did see him stuff the crap out of Wes Johnson at a Rutgers/Cuse game. Not a pro, unfortunately.

Hamed Haddadi, MEM - Would be interested to see what he can do when Marc Gasol isn't above him on the depth chart. I'd love to take a chance on him here, barring any ignorant fallout from the fans.

Hilton Armstrong, ATL - He and Josh Boone have to live together, right? They jsut have to.

J.R. Smith*, DEN - Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't he staying in China?

Jamaal Magloire, MIA - The buttock of all my jokes. Good to see you again, Jamaaaaal.

Jamal Crawford, ATL - Quick, a toilet!

Jamario Moon, LAC - Little to no tools but he can play. Not here though.

James Jones, MIA - Solely for keeping him away from everyone else, it may be worth it. I'd probably call him Jason Kapono now and again without feeling too bad about it.

Jared Jeffries, HOU - May be the most confusing player in the league.

Jason Collins, ATL - I'm fundamentally against separating twins.

Jason Kapono, PHI - HA!

Jason Richardson, ORL - Too much J-Rich.

Jason Smith, NOH - Was really good at starting prayer circles in center court post-game.

Jeff Foster, IND - I was called a dirty player in 6th grade once by a kid's mother after her son had attempted to grab me by the ankles while I was breaking upcourt. I have no concrete evidence, but Jeff Foster is probably that kid's uncle.

Jeff Green, BOS - Probably gets too much hate and not enough credit for having the last name of Green and playing for the Celtics. Wouldn't want to strip him of that, since he's RFA.

Joe Smith, LAL - "Your former number one overall pick....." Oh, Joe the stories you tell.

Joel Przybilla, CHA - Same as Gadzuric only with more consonants.

Joey Dorsey, TOR - No more Reggie Evans, for the love of God.

J.J. Barea, DAL - I see him staying with the Mavs. He was just as important as Jason Kidd in those Finals last year.

Jonas Jerebko, DET - The Pistons have far too may 6'8 wings that can't shoot great. If Thad walks, Jerebko is definitely a guy I'd target, though he is restricted. Need more Swedes.

Josh Howard, WAS - Remember the Social Network posters with Jesse Eisenberg before anyone knew the movie was actually good? That, only with bad adjectives are what I use to describe Josh Howard.

Josh McRoberts, IND - He'll forever be a Pacer.

Josh Powell, ATL - This signing would barely register on my emotive scale, but I bet he comes to Philly.

Julian Wright, TOR - Take all of the feelings I have for Brandan Wright and subtract them by one. That's what you get with Julian Wright - it could just be the last name.

Juwan Howard, MIA - He and Jamaal Magloire play canasta every Wednesday afternoon.

Who looks good from this list so far? I'm thinking Ajinca, Carter, and Julian Wright from this list. Still praying for Oden...

Stay tuned for Part Two coming up.

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